In our fast paced lives it can be difficult to make caring for grandparents, great-grandparents, and elderly neighbors a priority for our children, but we do an extreme disservice to all of them if we don’t place value on these relationships. Some of the greatest lessons we can teach our children are about caring for older generations, learning from them, and easing the age gap by increasing shared experiences. It is important that we help our children create relationships with the elderly populations in our communities.
The Lessons That Older Generations Can Teach Our Children
Not all children have grandparents who are close in proximity or parts of their families, but nurturing and encouraging bonds between your kids and older generations is valuable to their development of emotions and social awareness. There are numerous benefits that your kids will receive from these relationships.
- A true sense of and appreciation for history
- Wisdom from people who have made mistakes and lived to tell about them
- Supportive adult role models who are interested in their lives
- Lessons about practical tasks such as cooking, vehicle maintenance, and many other skills
- Realistic expectations and lessons about the aging process
- Experiences with individuals who might otherwise be out of your kids’ comfort zones – in wheelchairs, struggling with memory problems, and other age related issues
Children who have relationships with the elderly have opportunities to gain perspectives and knowledge about a very large population in our society. The economy, healthcare, politics, and community resources all have various focuses on older generations. As children learn more about the needs of this population they can deepen their understanding of these issues and broaden their definitions of their social worlds.
I have heard from parents who prefer to keep their children at more than arms’ length from the elderly population, worried that their children will be uncomfortable around or even have poor social skills with that population. They sometimes also worry that their children will experience too much sadness or loss by befriending someone who most likely will not outlive their child’s adolescence. The risks are far too greater, however, if we don’t make relationships with the elderly valued parts of our children’s lives.
My sons have all learned that chivalry is alive and well for older generations, and they are able to charm the women with their smiles and talk about fishing or building tree forts with the men. Recently my 10 year old son held the door open for an older woman (thankfully a fairly automatic gesture for him), and he was surprised at how this stranger took several minutes to tell him about how wonderful it was for him to do that, and that many kids “nowadays” don’t pay any attention to “old people”. I am thankful that her words made an important impression on my son and reminded me that we can’t allow our children to miss out on treasured time with the elderly in our communities.
The Gifts Our Children Give in Return
In turn your children will provide many gifts to the older adults in their lives, whether they are grandparents, great-grandparents, friends, or neighbors.
- A connection to youth that helps them to feel involved and invigorated
- Lessons about things that might be intimidating such as computers and technology
- Companionship that can increase mental and physical health through conversations and shared activities (going for walks, playing games, etc.)
- Decreased dependence on only one or two family members or caregivers as older children can even give rides for grocery shopping or help with home maintenance
Help Your Children Reach out to Older Generations
Don’t forget the importance of taking your children to nursing homes and assisted living facilities, even if you don’t have any family or friends as residents. Many of these places welcome visitors who can come and interact with residents and provide sources of conversation and friendship. When children are exposed to these environments at early ages they are more likely to become comfortable in such settings and be able to understand issues that the elderly face, such as immobility, deteriorating health, and communication barriers.
Encourage your kids to help their elderly neighbors with yard work or household errands or chores. Get young children involved with making snacks for and delivering them to the elderly. When they see you actively caring for older generations they will see the importance of the time invested. Teaching our children to value life, even when it might make them uncomfortable, helps them develop deeper connections to their entire community.
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