7 Ways for Moms to Manage Stress

Tags: managing stress, moms, stay-at-home mom, stress, work-at-home, work-at-home mom, working mom

<!–google_ad_client = “ca-pub-4097298935831766”;/* In Post */google_ad_slot = “6687079443”;google_ad_width = 468;google_ad_height = 60;–><!—->

• Tweet

• Tweet

No matter how organized or effective we feel we are, moms need to find ways to break away from the responsibilities of work and remember who we are. We are women with precariously balanced loads of projects, activities, and things for which we are accountable. Not to mention those people in our lives who make it all worth it – our families. However, sometimes those precariously balanced loads feel like a bunch of jumping monkeys swarming on our backs and we’ve just run out of bananas. As a work-at-home and homeschool mom I am no stranger to feeling the swat of a monkey’s tail across my face, reminding me that I need to take a break before I break – I like to think of these as saving breaks that are my saving graces.

Easy Ideas for Sanity Saving Breaks for Moms

1. Get outside. I’m not one for lounging in the sun, but nothing refreshes me more than moving around outside. My favorite things to do are work in one of my gardens and play with my kids, and the best is when I can combine the two. We might garden together, or I might just listen to them tell stories in their tree fort while I trim trees and pull weeds. I just stepped back inside from a hilarious round of Frisbee with the boys and was presented with my first of many dandelion bouquets of the season.
2. Create a retreat. You don’t have to wait to have one find you. I have two dear friends who are proactive and plan their own retreat weekends. They know when they need a break and either plan a girls’ night away or even a solo trip for reflection and rejuvenation. It doesn’t have to be expensive, either. Church groups and nature centers often offer basic accommodations free of distractions and commercialization if you’re looking for an overnight away from home.
3. Exercise. I admit this one I struggle with sometimes because it doesn’t always feel like I am accomplishing anything that will be noticed – the laundry piles stay the same, the dishes still wait, and the floors are still dancing with dirt from the day. However, after one particularly long day at the computer of 13 hours of writing, there was nothing more needed than a bike ride to get my legs moving and my focus shifted. The healthy benefits can’t be denied, and if you are a work-at-home mom who sometimes sits at the computer too long, exercise is mandatory to feeling well.
4. Play a game. Even a round of Go Fish with the little ones or a serious duel of Wii tennis can be the best distractions. Laughter can reduce stress hormones and lower blood pressure. Just make sure you are in the moment and not worrying about the next deadline or cake you need to bake for PTA. Playing with your family also reminds you of why you work so hard every day – them.
5. Explore your faith. Research shows that people who have personal faith beliefs are healthier and can handle stress more effectively. Explore your faith by meditation, through prayer, in Bible study classes, or just evaluating your current faith options and beliefs.
6. Sing and dance. You don’t have to carry a tune to let music have a positive effect on you. Music therapies are even now reaching schools, care centers, and places of business. Crank your favorite song and take a 5 minute break to just dance. My kids love for me to sing them the Irish songs my dad sang to me, download some of my old favorites, and have me listen to their music choices. Sometimes nothing is a better stress buster than good old fashioned karaoke in the kitchen!
7. Leave. When all else fails and the day just can’t seem to be won, take a break. I love to call Road Trip! and have the kids pile in the van so we can all have a change of pace. It can change the energy of the day from negative and full of tension to refreshing perspectives. Go to the park, the zoo, visit someone at a nursing home, window shop for tree fort supplies, or even just go to the library. Sometimes I might call a road trip for myself, even just to get groceries. It is OK to leave the mess behind – it won’t miss us and with luck won’t multiply too heavily while we are gone.

No matter how you take your saving breaks, just make sure you take them before you really need them, and live in the moment. There is no point in a retreat if you spend it with regrets that you aren’t home. And it is difficult to lip sync to the classic oldies with a pout and frown on your face because you are too worried about the laundry on the line. Take time each day to renew yourself and your family will thank you.

Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/BetterParenting/~3/zSTVhrZi3Jk/

3 Scary Trends: Is Your Teen Trying Them?

Tags: dangerous teen trends, digital drug abuse, drug abuse, scary teen trends, smoking, teen trends, teens

<!–google_ad_client = “ca-pub-4097298935831766”;/* In Post */google_ad_slot = “6687079443”;google_ad_width = 468;google_ad_height = 60;–><!—->

• Tweet

• Tweet

I have two teenagers in the house and our home often rattles and rumbles with the hoof-beats of their teenage friends rambling through the house. We love that our home includes the lives of our children and their friends, but it has also made me a more diligent parent, keeping my ear to the ground of things parents of teens need to be aware. I consider it conscious parenting – teaching myself before I have to know about the risks my kids might face in the world. There are 3 scary trends for teens that keep surfacing in my parenting conversations and readings.

1. Smoking Smarties – By Smarties I mean the candy that as a child I innocently was given on Halloween and Easter and never considered anything but eating the sugary discs. Kids today are now watching videos online that teach them how to crush the candy, keep it rolled, then smoke them as if they were real cigarettes. While there has not been determined to be a medical high kids get from these, there are several risk factors.

• The smoke from the burning roll and candy dust can cause lung infections, chronic coughs, and burning sensations.
• Some kids crush the candy into a fine powder and snort it, imitating what they imagine snorting Cocaine or other illegal drugs would look like. They do this in front of friends or video tape it and post it online for popularity gaining purposes – a status symbol.
• Besides the health risks, parents, doctors, law enforcement, and community members are all concerned that kids are using legal sweet treats to imitate the look and feel of illegal or harmful substances, which could be a small step on the very wrong road of substance use and abuse.

1. I-Dosing – To be honest, when I heard of this digital drug use trend it brought to my mind the old debate about “hard rock” music and the negative effects on children because of the lyrics and hard instrumentals. Then I did a little more digging and found that the concerns are valid and something we as parents needs to understand more about in order to protect our kids from bigger issues.

• I-dosing is the trend of downloading music with binaural beats that have a unique tone programmed to feed through one ear of a headphone and a separate frequency that feeds to the other ear of a headphone.
• Teens download and listen to the music in attempts to alter their consciousness through these varying sound waves that challenge the brain’s system.
• Children have been reported to go into convulsions, have seizure-like activity, and mood changes while listening to these frequencies.
• The risk, as with smoking Smarties, is that this legal and easily accessible way to experiment with drug-like activities opens the doors for tweens and teens to experiment with more dangerous activities and substances.
• The channels and sites that post these videos are often visited by people who are not offering good advice or opportunities to our children.

1. Candy Drinks – Just when I thought that kids had thought of everything, I heard of the trend of Gummy Bears being soaked in vodka for a candy treat that is anything but for kids.

• Teens are apparently taking bowls full of Gummy Bears, soaking the candies in vodka, and then consuming them.
• The candy lessens the bitterness of the alcohol for kids, but provides the same effects.
• Kids mistakenly think that this trend is cute and looks innocent, and even dare to eat their laced treats around adults because they figure we just haven’t caught on yet.

So – in the interest of catching on, pass these scary trends onto other parents. This isn’t to raise an alarm bell, but to provide parents with the knowledge that can help them keep kids safe and encourage them to make positive decisions. Knowledge is power – and sometimes candy isn’t as sweet as it appears.

Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/BetterParenting/~3/lIbTOyz7X2g/

• Tweet

• Tweet

Raising Resilient Children By Focusing on Basic Needs

Kids are resilient – we hear it all the time and I know I’ve even said it after watching my children pick themselves up, from either physical or emotional pain, and dive right back in again. However, they aren’t born resilient – they are given tools. I recently came across results of a 20 year study that reveals resiliency is not created from extraordinary efforts. Raising resilient children happens when parents, caregivers, teachers, and communities, use simple and effective resources. The study is a refreshing look at the factors that determine resiliency in children – and gives me hope that we all can contribute to a resilient community of kids.

What is Resilience?

Resilience is that ability to search for and find positive results, even when the situation is surrounded by negative ones. On the small scale this might mean that a child is resilient and keeps trying to ride that bike, even though he has fallen the first 10 times. On a much larger scale, resilient children can overcome poverty and poor schools to succeed in life as happy, content, contributing adults.

Which Factors Create Resilient Children?

Resilient children do not necessarily have enormously successful parents or schools at their disposal. They have what most of us can give: the ordinary.

From the study a short list of what they call “Protective Factors” emerged that contribute to resilient children.

• Ordinary parents – I love this! We don’t have to be extraordinary at all things; we need to be present and accounted for in our children’s lives.
• Connections to other competent and caring adults – Surround our kids with family and friends who are positive influences.
• Good intellectual skills – This one might be challenging for some, as it is not necessarily an innate quality, but thoughtful education is key.
• Self-efficacy – Children who believe in themselves and their abilities often have adults in their lives who do the same.
• Appealingness – This isn’t about looking good, but about that spark that kids who have a passion for life display – how they present themselves to the world.
• Talents valued by society and self – Who can deny that people feel good about themselves when they can develop a skill or talent that has intrinsic value?
• A sense of meaning in life – Children, as well as adults, lead more resilient lives when they find purpose.
• Faith and religious affiliations – Numerous studies also show that children do better when they have a foundation of faith.
• Socioeconomic advantages – This can be the most daunting for children at risk, as often their family’s financial situations contribute to negative influences. While money doesn’t create resiliency, it does help provide opportunities to children to develop their strengths.
• Good schools – Oh – the challenge. There is no single, agreed-upon definition of good schools, but in terms of resiliency, children do need to develop their thinking and analytical skills.
• Community resources – Especially for children at risk and faced with larger adversity that just falling off their bikes, community resources come in many forms: housing assistance, health and nutrition attention, mentoring programs, and other positive resources.

What Did the Resilience Study Show?

The study, entitled Project Competence, took 2005 Minneapolis, MN children (114 girls and 91 boys) and gathered information about their lives, including competency levels, adversity in their lives, and family and personal characteristics and traits that influenced their lives. At seven, ten, and twenty years, the conductors of the study reevaluated each child. At the twenty-year mark, measures were taken of those children who had succeeded despite adversity, and which children had internal and external resources, specifically thinking skills and exposure to effective parenting.

Those children who faced adversity had these two specific traits of thinking and exposure to effective parenting were more likely to be able to learn, pay attention, and problem solve. They developed rich relationships and participated in full levels with their communities.

How Can I Raise a Resilient Child?

While the list above of the factors that contribute to resilient children might seem overwhelming in scope, it really highlights something very positive. There is nothing earth-shattering or mind-blowing in the list. Resilient children don’t need everthing to be extraordinary. They need access to ordinary parents and the opportunities to learn problem solving skills. If we take each one of the factors that contribute to resiliency and help apply them to our own children, we can create extraordinary lives out of ordinary approaches.

Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/BetterParenting/~3/LImVmjQLKnc/