“Can I please have a bunny? I promise to take care of it!” Those were the words I heard for months from my daughter when she was barely old enough to tie her shoes. How was she going to care for a bunny? I certainly didn’t need the extra job while raising and homeschooling 4 children, all under the age of 7 – not to mention bunnies weren’t my kind of pet. But then I realized, this wasn’t about me. This was about my daughter exerting her preferences and reaching her goals. Gulp. It was time to make a plan, and maybe get a bunny.
Let’s face it, there are almost too many choices when it comes to our kids and the pets they want. Snakes, lizards, dogs, birds, fish – the list goes on and on. Deciding which pet is right for your family involves asking yourself and your child many questions, and being honest with the answers.
Can we afford this?
Remember to consider more than the “start-up” costs of pet ownerships like a bowl, bed, and collar. There are routine vet visits, foods, and extras. Pets do not come with a lifelong guarantee, so you need to be prepared for unexpected costs, such as pets who turn out to need special foods in their diet (which usually cost much more than average foods), medications, and licenses for larger animals. Don’t forget for animals such as dogs and cats the need to make sure they are spayed or neutered, a one-time expense. Find a veterinarian before bringing Fido home: it is the best way to plan ahead for expenses and expectations.
Do we have room?
While a cat might not need much more space than the end of the bed or ledge of the windowsill, other items such as a litter box, scratching post, and food dishes will take up space. Make sure you envision where all of those extras will fit into your home.
Do we have the time?
Mr. Goldfish might not take up much more time than the evening feeding, but many pets do require the time and attention that we are already short on within our families. Dogs need daily exercise and grooming, and we can’t forget about the training we have to be able to commit to in order to raise a dog our family can live with sanely. Even the time it takes to clean a litter-box or a bird cage is time that we have to be willing to either give up ourselves, or give up as we monitor our kids do the tasks. It is still on us to make sure the tasks are completed.
Remember that smaller is not always better. Small pets like fragile dog breeds, kittens, and gerbils can be more difficult for children to handle easily and safely. Talk with a veterinarian to determine the best kind of breeds for your family’s needs.
Consider low-maintenance pets to start, such as freshwater fish. They are inexpensive to purchase and feed, require minimal time commitments, and can’t escape (very easily). When our kids were preschool age they all started with some type of aquatic pet. They learned about the responsibility it takes to feed and care for them, and they also learned about losing pets at certain points – a sad but real component of life.
Be realistic in the decision. Birds that require quiet surroundings will not do well in a house full of active children, no matter how beautiful the feathered creatures might look in the living room. So called designer dogs might look adorable in your child’s doll bed, but are actually often too fragile for small children to handle easily.
Don’t bring home a pet as a holiday gift. The holidays are already filled with chaos, people, and busy households. Wait to bring in a pet until your child doesn’t have a lot already going on, and you are free to focus on this singular addition to the home.
Avoid adopting a pet on short notice because your child is just begging for one. Take the time to make a plan and make sure that you are all ready for this new addition. Estimate the amount of time and level of responsibility that your child will need in order to help care for this pet and incorporate similar levels into her day for an extended period of time. This helps her to work towards her goal and helps you determine if she is really ready for that bunny in the window.
We did eventually bring that bunny home – 2 actually. But this was after many months of planning and discussing. Our daughter had to demonstrate her responsibility by following through every day for 3 months with a list of specific tasks, such as making her bed before breakfast, feeding the fish without reminders, and other household jobs appropriate for a 7-year-old. We have now endured… and enjoyed… 3 bunnies, 3 dogs, more cats than I can count (we have fostered for an animal welfare program), 2 lizards, countless fish, and 2 African dwarf frogs. Without them the kids would not have learned compassion, responsibility, and how to test the durability of their jeans as they chased the puppy in the yard.
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