Kids and hammers are almost a magical combination. There is a sparkle a boy gets in his eye when he holds a hammer, and that sparkle turns into a mesmerized fire when he also has a nail and something into which he can pound. For moms and dads everywhere, that fiery need to build can lead to parental worries and overprotection – but we need to let them bruise their thumbs as they build and create. Building with hammers, nails, saws (yes – those sharp things that can cut through wood), and even drills is one of the best experiences for your child, even those darling daughters. It is time for us to loosen our protective strings and help our kids build – their skills, confidence, and character.
I was a slight tomboy growing up, swinging through the trees with my brother, building tree forts out of any scraps we could find. So it should have been easy for me to hand over the hammer and nails to my own young kids, but I admit that I struggled with that. I knew that someone would eventually smash a finger – even the best carpenter does at times. I also knew that I was raising 4 kids, 3 of them boys, and I couldn’t shelter them from every scrape and injury. What I have learned since is when we lead them through their adventures we are all better off than if we don’t let them go at all, even with the occasional “owie”.
What can building teach?
Practical skills – Your kids will grow to have their own shelter needs, and there is a real likelihood they might need to hang a door, fix a windowsill, or maybe adjust a cupboard door. Enabling kids to gain low-stakes experiences using tools allows them time to get used to handling tools. Building a birdhouse might not seem like it will give the skills needed to take care of a real house, but no one starts out as an expert.
Job skills – We just don’t know what paths our kids might decide to take in the future so exposing them to varieties of tools and trades is valuable. Even if it is a high school job at the local market, there might be a need for work with tools.
Personal confidence – Just like the proud smile that spreads across their faces when they delicately hand over a craft foam creation, there is a wondrous glint in their eyes when they announce, “Look at what I built!” It might be a lopsided ramp for their bike, a leaning house for their dolls, or an unparalleled attempt at a piece of usable furniture. My 6 year-old nephew is an amazing whiz with a drill – yes, an adult sized drill. We just started the screws for him in my parents’ decking, and he hoisted the drill and finished setting each one of them. He knows he is capable, is confident about his abilities, and carries his head a little bit higher when he can make a real contribution to the family project.
Personal character – How can kids using tools help build character? Think of all of the things that are necessary for young kids to successfully take tools and create something. Listening skills, abilities to follow directions, respect for safety rules, creativity, attention to details, and more are all parts of their experiences while building. As parents we can work with them to guide their learning, and see their character building as well.
What if I don’t have a carpenter’s thumb?
Today there are so many options for kids and parents, even those who don’t have a building bone in their homes. The options are many, and they will often cost you less than the latest video game sensation.
Look for:
- toy tools for the youngest kids
- foam wood boards on which cutting skills can be practiced
- child sized tools with real world capabilities
- lumber yards that give away scrap wood – our local one sets it outside for free
- kids’ classes at local lumberyards for beginner builders
- kits for kids with easy to follow instructions and all of the supplies
- safe tools for starters – even a tape measure, ruler, carpenter pencil, and multi-function screwdriver
We teach our children how to cut their own food and cut pictures with scissors, and we need to teach them how to use basic household tools as well. There are great rewards in letting our children use tools to create and build, as my son recently reminded me. He thanked me for setting aside my own worries enough to let him learn how to use a hammer, saw, and other tools, building bike jumps, tree forts, and other projects. Even though he has a malformed fingernail courtesy of a mistimed hammer and a scar from a saw, he has built his confidence and character. He has also taught me to love while leading, not holding back.
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