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10 Minute Pick-Me Ups for Tired Parents

Last night was glorious. My husband and I sat for one entire segment of a sit-com from one commercial break to the other – without any interruptions. Except, that is, for the occasional banging of any of the 5 pairs of children’s feet on the floor above us. But that was OK – no one came downstairs. My husband worked on matching socks from the sock basket (yay!) – and I just sat. We could hear what the actors were saying, laughed at even the inappropriate innuendos, and I ended up crying because during a scene when parents are taking their child to college because, well, I’m a mom. Those 10 minutes of uninterrupted adulthood gave me enough oomph to get me through the rest of the day with a smile on my face. And they reminded me of how we do just need to sometimes give ourselves a 10-minute-time-out to recharge.

1. Write a Letter

We are all probably texting and emailing throughout the day, but nothing compares to actually hand writing a letter to a friend. Take 10 minutes to pen a note to someone who you think about, but don’t always have the time to chat with over coffee. When your note arrives in your friend’s mailbox, those minutes she takes to read that surprise letter will be her own pick-me-up for the day.

2. Do Karaoke

I was not blessed with a voice for singing, but my face can’t help but smile when I belt out a tune on the Wii sing-along game, especially if it is old school rock. If you’re not up for a video game version, find your favorite CD and sing along – loudly (yes – you can listen to something other than nursery rhymes or whatever Bieber song your tween has on looping play mode).

3. Have a Secret Stash

Your stash should be something that lifts your spirits – chocolate, a basket of favorite magazines, a pocket Sudoku game – anything you reserve just for you. It might be a few good books that are easy reads and support your busy life, like Creating a Charmed Life: Sensible, Spiritual Secrets Every Busy Woman Should Know. Or it can be like my secret winter stash of flavored teas, perfect for sharing with girlfriends when they stop over for their 10-minute-pick-me-up.

4. Hide in the Closet

Yes – I really do this. When all else fails, I walk in and lean against the soft stack of sweaters and close my eyes. I don’t have to turn on the light, and for a few minutes I feel invisible. The closet also does an amazing job of blocking out the sounds of the house enough so that I can hear myself think. Your quiet zone doesn’t have to be a closet, but try to find a place in the house – just a little corner – where you feel like you can breathe.

5. Homemade Spa Kit

Keep a basket or bin with homemade spa kit supplies you can use to take a break from stress, right in your own home. The goal of this is to calm and refresh your senses, so include things in the kit that will address your various senses in ways that make you feel better. Some of my favorites are:

• Ear plugs
• An eye mask
• A lotion that smells really good
• A small, soft pillow I can place behind my neck or lower back.
• A package of peppermints

This is also a great gift you can make for a girlfriend!

6. You Shall Not Pass!

If your home is like mine, doors are like revolving turntables – people are in and out faster than the wind, and privacy is almost as rare as a spring day in Chicago without wind. Hang a Door Not Disturb sign on your bedroom door and close it. Don’t forget to tell the kids that when the door hanger is in place that means 10 minutes of quiet behind the door for you. Last weekend I even got to nap for those 10 minutes.

7. Duo Dessert

Family dinners around here are usually loud, elbow knocking, ketchup dribbling events as my husband and I sit at opposite ends of the table, corralling 5 children between us. Save a special dessert for just you and your partner to share in a 10 minute quiet moment, after the dishes are done and the kids have scattered. Even if it is just the last cookie you found hiding in the jar, sharing a sweet treat can help slow things down in life, if only for a few minutes, and remind you that you are partners in the journey.

8. An Outdoor Chore

For whatever reason 3-year-olds must think that parents will drown in the toilet without their toddler supervision. Even though my kids are growing older and outgrowing the need to follow us everywhere, some of them still think that while parents do their business in the bathroom that is the most opportune time to have a conversation – right through the bathroom door. I’ve even had notes slid under the door while I’m showering. Come on, people, it can wait! So when I’m getting kid-claustrophobic, I head outside to do something I know the kids won’t want to do – put the garbage cans away, sweep the garage, etc. – and I get instant private time. If I plan it well, I can spend 10 minutes talking with my husband in peace and quiet while it looks like we are contemplating the gutters that we don’t have installed.

9. Pray

Praying, meditating, and reaching beyond our immediate chaos of parenting really can help us get recharged. I recently inhereited a book of meditations and prayers from my great-grandmother. As I was flipping through the book I found a quotation she had copied on a scrap of paper from 1972. It reads:

Shhhhh
We pray to God for all our needs
In faith we go on seeking!
But do we listen long enough
To hear if God is speaking?

– D.A. Hoover

As parents let’s give time for ourselves, and time to hear what we might be missing. Chances are the things we are so worried about missing – the PTA meeting, the art class, the ringing phone, the doorbell – are the things we can set aside to make room for our lives.

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Teaching Stranger Danger in a Whole New World

I made a parenting mistake (one of many, I’m sure). I had gotten so wrapped up in making sure that my kids are safe online, that I didn’t give due diligence to safety in the real world. It’s not like I encourage them to run with scissors or run into the crosswalk without looking both ways before crossing the street. But I didn’t give the same attention to their “stranger danger” skills in the real world. Parents today are so inundated with safety concerns about the online technology world in which our kids live, that suddenly the real world is so much more comfortable. I got complacent. And then I hear of young girls missing like this precious girl in Colorado, and I look at my own children and wonder just how safe they are.

Stranger Danger Redefined

Sometimes my brain feels like it is about to implode with all of the parenting information I feel like I must not only acquire, but somehow intelligently transmit to my children. I grew up in a generation that was told to not take candy from strangers. Sound advice (yet I allow my kids to be pelted with suckers at parades). Now I am a parent and I have to know as much as parentally possible about all things related to technology. Instagram, Facebook, digital reputations – these advancements haunt me.

I’m also most likely not the only parent who has been worrying more about online dangers compared to real-world dangers. In fact, when I went searching for resources about “stranger danger” I found what I thought would be a great piece of information put together by the National Crime Prevention Council. It is advertised toward parents to help them help their kids “boost street smarts.” But the guide (as good as it is), is about online safety.

Defining “Stranger” for Kids

It is vitally important that kids know that strangers are any people they don’t know. Strangers don’t have a special look about them, smell differently, or wear armbands that signify they are strange. Perhaps one of the most important things we can teach our children is how to recognize dangerous situations, instead of focusing on trying to determine who might be a dangerous person.

• Strangers can be very nice, like the same hobbies, and have cool cars.
• Strangers might ask for help looking for lost items, figuring out how to get their cell phone voicemail to work, or need directions.

Dangerous situations can more easily have telltale signs:

• adults asking kids for help or assistance (finding a lost pet)
• adults asking kids to do something that kids aren’t typically equipped to do (giving directions)
• adults asking kids personal questions when parents aren’t with them (How old are you? What do you like to eat?)
• adults asking kids about their parents (When will your parents be back?)
• adults asking kids to keep secrets (beyond birthday gifts that should be a red flag for kids)

Tools for Teaching Kids about Personal Safety

Not all strangers are dangers, and that can be hard for kids to understand. We need to give our kids the tools they need to distinguish between safe and questionable situations and behaviors.

Role Play – Use some seemingly harmless examples of how strangers might approach them for conversations. Focus on the conversations, and not the attributes of the stranger. Most conversations are safe – but because not all people are safe for our kids, we need to let our kids know that it is OK to disengage from a stranger. Even though we so often tell our kids to be polite and converse with people (and get away from that computer screen!), we also need to give them permission to walk away from a conversation that has red flags.

Talk about safe boundaries – I use the yardstick bubble rule (my younger kids love to measure – and sometimes whack – things with a yardstick, so this is a good frame of reference for them), but you can choose any object that makes sense to your child and is about 3 feet. Teach kids to avoid being in the personal space of strangers within that bubble, and to guard their own bubble. This is especially important when there is obviously enough large, open space and the stranger doesn’t have a need to invade that personal space.

Develop signals – I have developed with my own kids certain code words and signals they can use within our family to alert each other to an uncomfortable or possibly dangerous situation. Keep your codes private, and review them when you review things like your fire escape plan (feel that implosion rumbling, again…).

Give them permission to scream – Kids need to know that they can yell and it is going to be OK. Our daughter tested our teachings when she was much younger and shrieked in the mall because she thought she was lost. We praised her for using her voice (instead of chastising her for making so much noise in the store).

Additional guidelines to teach kids from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children include:

1. Always check first with a parent, guardian, or trusted adult before going anywhere, accepting anything, or getting into a car with anyone.
2. Do not go out alone. Always take a friend with when going places or playing outside.
3. Say no if someone tries to touch you, or treats you in a way that makes you feel sad, scared, or confused. Get out of the situation as quickly as possible.
4. Tell a parent, guardian, or trusted adult if you feel sad, scared, or confused.
5. There will always be someone to help you, and you have the right to be safe.

Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/BetterParenting/~3/P5BHoC0bE9I/

8 Fun Halloween Recipes

Tags: Halloween, halloween party, holiday, holidays, kids’ party, recipe, Recipes

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Creepy, Gross, and Slimy Treats to Please the Kids

Olive eyeballs on meatballs and red goo blood frosting that oozed from the cupcakes. Pretty gross – but what else would you expect at a kids’ Halloween party? I have one very excited boy when it comes to holidays, and even though the edible eyeballs are almost too much for him, he can’t help but stare right back in excited glee. This year he is already planning the green slime we will eat and has the spooky caution tape all ready to hang on the front door. If you and your kids are planning a spooky night with friends, try some of these easy Halloween recipe ideas that have left my kids and their friends with chills on the spines, but smiles on their faces (and full bellies).

Easy Recipes for the Halloween Party

Do it with Green Goo – Everything is a little bit better with green goo!

• Make green Jell-O and add gummy worms after it has partially set.
• Serve homemade mac-n-cheese for the younger crowd, but add green food coloring to the cheese sauce. You can even substitute noodle shapes and serve Gangrenous Intestines (spaghetti noodles) or Moldy Brains (rotini noodles).
• Make deviled eggs and add green food coloring to the egg yolk mixture.
• Pistachio salad can become Slime Surprise Salad, and vanilla pudding colored with green food coloring magically changes to Pond Scum.

Easy Eyeballs – Green olives make the perfect eyeballs with those red pits among the creepy green olive skin. We had them baked into the top of mini meatballs, and they can also be added onto crackers that have cheese spread, or spread along the top of a pile of angel hair pasta noodles that have been drizzled with browned butter and garlic.

Black Web Icing – Grab a few tubes of the black frosting gel, or take a container of premade vanilla or cream cheese frosting and add black food coloring, then use a frosting tube applicator (these frostings taste much better than the gel if you are going to use a lot). Apply frosting spider webs to make easy and festive treats on a variety of foods:

• Cupcakes
• Small sugar cookies
• Slices of fruit such as kiwi, apples, or melon
• Graham crackers
• The entire pan of Rice Krispy Bars
• You can even add the spider web frosting to serving plates – covering the entire surface with one web, then place chunks of fruit on top in small sections.
• Or, cover a small plate in a thin layer of white fruit dip and draw the web on top of that. Guests can then use this as their festive fruit dip.

Swamp Juice – My dear friend brought the ingredients to make this last year for our kids and it was an absolute hit! It looks so authentically creepy, that it is almost more fun to stare at the glass than actually taste it! http://spoonful.com/recipes/swamp-juice

Reese’s Pieces Perfection – Sprinkle these colorful candies on cookies and cupcakes, or mix them in with mini pretzels and raisins for a Haunted Trail Mix.

Candy Corn Candy Bar – Mix equal parts of salted peanuts (not in the shell) with candy corn and serve in a snack dish with a small spoon. The combination tastes just like a Salted Nut Roll candy bar!

Eyeball Cupcakes – Bake 24 white cupcakes according to any easy recipe – box or from scratch. After the cupcakes have cooled, take a frosting applicator to inject the cupcakes (from the top) with vanilla frosting that has been colored red with food coloring. Don’t overfill the inside, or the red will leak through the white cake (you can use Halloween cupcake liners if you like). Cover the hole in the top of the cupcake with a gumdrop, and then drag small, red frosting squiggle lines across the top to look like bloodshot eyes. The eyes on top of the cupcakes make a great effect, but when the kids bite in they squeal even more!

Pretzel Bones – Dip pretzel rods in white, melted almond bark to coat and let dry on a sheet of waxed paper, and then serve these as Leftover Bones.

For the final touches, take a child’s black chalkboard and write the menu or type on up and print it to hang on the kitchen wall. The creepy, gross, and hair-raising names you give your creations helps to add to the fun mood. Dollar stores usually have lots of fun cups, plates, and serving dishes that you can use to serve your ghoulish menu.

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Strategies for Learning and Life from Dr. Selznick

I often refer to parenting as a journey, built upon roads that wind and traverse, that are as smooth as silk and as bumpy as craters – just make sure to buckle up for the ride. The way in which I view parenting is most likely what drew me in to Dr. Selznick’s new book, School Struggles – A Guide to Your Shut-Down Learner’s Success. His own goals resonate with me:

“How can we better help the child traveling down the rough road, whether it is for academic, social, or behavioral reasons, or all of the above?”

Even if you don’t think that your child is on a rough road – maybe the road just gets a little narrow or challenging to climb at times – there are likely some tools in Selznick’s book that you can add to your parenting toolbox.

Practical Points for Parents: Tools to Help Struggling Learners

I am not intensely drawn to books that doggedly drag on and tell me how woeful the situation is, why I must take a stand, or why I need to try an approach, if they don’t actually give me real, tangible tools for accomplishing anything. Dr. Selznick got my attention in his book when I flipped through the pages before ever reading more than a sentence. At the end of sections and chapters there are Takeaway Points and Try This strategies.

My attention perked up like the hairs on the back of my neck do when I find a healthy recipe that everyone in my home loves – good information for parents is food for the soul (and my family). But would these points and strategies prove to be helpful to me? Not all of the verdicts are in, but there are several key factors that have me nodding in agreement and being willing to continue trying some of Selznick’s methods and suggestions.

According to Selznick, reading, spelling, and writing challenges are at the root of many of school struggles that children go through on a regular basis. Before you dismiss this idea because you think your child can read well enough, but you are still watching him struggle with something, consider these 3 points that Selznick highlights throughout the book.

Teach children how to recognize their own strengths.

After reading about this particular topic in Selznick’s book I had the opportune moment to put it to the test – a frustrated child who was feeling inadequate. I used the strategy suggested by Selznick of creating with your child a chart of strengths (not just academic), as well as addressing weaknesses. I included my own chart for my personal strengths and weaknesses to demonstrate that we all have both – a humbling process. This tangible tool really clarified for my child how to acknowledge strengths and feel proud of them, but also how to recognize weaknesses and develop plans to improve those weaker areas.

Pay attention to your gut instinct.

My grandmother and Dr. Selznick would probably get along quite amicably together – as their philosophies seem to mirror each other. Grandma always said that if by the time you’ve raised your children you haven’t learned enough to be a teacher and a doctor, you weren’t doing your job well. When we pay attention to our instincts, even when faced against the odds of school testing administrators who don’t see much more than black and white lines on scales of learning, we are champions for our kids. Selznick gives many suggestions for working with doctors, schools, and other professionals who are involved in your children’s lives to develop a solid plan worthy of your child.

Look for opportunities for your child to problem solve and weigh the options.

Children seem to naturally be inquisitive about the world – but sometimes we are moving too quickly through our days to allow them enough time to explore their options. I know I have been guilty of rushing through a task or activity for my own personal goals and needs and forgetting the patience that is required, leaving one or more of my kids as a passive participant (when I know in my heart of hearts I want to be raising actively participating kids). Ask your kids questions, get them thinking about answers, and take the time to listen to those answers and provide genuine feedback.

Learning Disabilities – Dangerous Territory

One of my favorite things about Selznick’s approach is his lack of bandwagon riding. He doesn’t push for labels such as ADHD and regimes of medications, because he sees kids as more of a mixture of skills and abilities, along with struggles, and labels and drugs don’t always offer help for those challenges.

• Be wary of expensive, quick fixes.
• If you seek professional guidance for your child, make sure you understand the goals the professional is establishing, and that those goals meet your concerns (remember – pay attention to gut instinct).
• Give your struggling child support – dedicating time together not focusing on the struggles, but just enjoying each other’s company.
• If you seek a 504 plan for your child’s education, make sure that it is tailored specifically for your child and is not just a generic check-list. * Don’t jump into a plan without considering how the interventions will impact your child’s self-esteem and emotional well-being. Will it make him feel like he stands out even more?

More Help for Struggling Learners

If you’re looking for strategies to help your children grow, especially if they are struggling with reading, writing, and basic executive functions, take a few minutes to review School Struggles by Richard Selznick. The more tools we add to our parenting toolboxes, the better off our families will be.

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The App that Kids Love – and Some Parents Loathe

Are you raising a budding photographer or just have a social butterfly who likes to take myriads of pictures, or just likes seeing the pictures that other people take? If so, chances are that your child has seen, used, or downloaded Instagram. Do you know what Instagram is – and why it might pose a danger to your child?

Instagram is an app for devices such as iPads and smart phones, and is one of the fastest growing products by use on the market. And it is free – making it perfectly marketable for kids. Users – our children included, take, download, and modify pictures using special filtering software. Then these pictures can be shared via Facebook, Twitter, or Tumblr.  Instagram claims the app is, “photo sharing, reinvented.” Even though it is promoted as a photo sharing application, in reality our teenagers are using it as a social media site for networking among peers (and too often strangers).

Why Does Instagram Pose a Danger to My Kids?

Instagram, according to Nielsen, is one of the most popular photo sharing sites in the world among teens, with more than 1 million kids using or visiting the app site in July of 2012. If your teen hasn’t been there, he or she is likely to find it soon – and the dangers grow as the audiences and user numbers grow. On the outside it might seem like a harmless and entertaining way to share pictures, but in reality it is very similar to other social media sites like Facebook and MySpace – it connects people in open forums of conversation and expression.

• Just like any other social media site, Instagram cannot accept applications for accounts for children under the age of 13 years. However, the sign-up process is not authenticated, and children simply have to choose a birth year that makes them “of age”.
• The default setting for privacy is set to public, meaning that unless your child intentionally changes the setting, anyone, anywhere can see pictures your child takes and pictures of your child.
• Reports of fake accounts established by bullies who use Instagram as a way to tease and degrade classmates are emerging.
• Viewers of the photos can leave comments. Inevitably there are users who don’t follow the rule my mom always preached – if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
• There is a geo location feature that allows the photographs to be tagged according to geographic location (geotagging). If those pictures of your child at her birthday party are posted via Instagram on the public setting, and then tagged as occurring at your home, your daughter’s privacy has just been seriously compromised, and perhaps her safety as well.
• While there are rules against it, it also seems inevitable that people will use the app for posting inappropriate and sexually explicit photos and comments. Your child can be easily exposed to these.

How Can I Keep My Kids Safe on Instagram?

There are no fool proof ways to use any software or app program, so the first line of defense for parents is to keep open lines of communication, have family rules for technology use, incorporate security software as needed, and practice due diligence. Beyond these basic rules for technology safety, you can take a few steps with Instagram settings and procedures to help keep your kids as safe as possible.

• Don’t allow your kids who are younger than 13 years to get an Instagram account. Those safety and security parameters, no matter how weak, are there for a reason.
• Tie your child’s iTunes account into your own so that you are aware of the apps being downloaded.
• Make sure to have the privacy setting changed from the default of public to private. Then the photos your child posts can only be seen by her friends. Go to your child’s profile page on Instagram and look to the bottom of the page to find the switch that is labeled “photos are private” and turn the switch to ON to reflect the changes.
• Talk with your kids about the geo location feature and explain the dangers of using it, and make it a rule that they can’t, and that they should monitor who tags their locations on Instagram (they can ask friends not to geotag them).
• Don’t be afraid to report abusive or inappropriate pictures or comments. On the profile page of the offender that is an option you can tap in the upper right hand corner of the screen and either request to block user or report user.

If you’re like me, you might be sighing and thinking – what else am I going to have to worry about with my kids and technology? I think the truth is: a lot. While our kids are living in a world that just can’t compare to the environments in which we grew up as kids, as parents we are also parenting in a new world that our own parents have a hard time envisioning. It is not realistic or even productive to shelter our kids from all of these apps, sites, and technology related advancements. Instead it is time to buckle up, put on my big girl pants, and get ready to go along for the ride. If I’m lucky I’ll get to navigate some, but I’m not going to just sit back and close my eyes, waiting for it to be over – there is too much scenery to miss along the way. Arm yourself with some facts, get ready to protect your kids from one more online danger, and keep two hands on the steering wheel.

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21 Great Parenting Quotes

Tags: funny quotes, funny quotes for parents, inspiration for parents, inspire parents, inspired parenting, quotations, quotes, quotes for parents

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Some days are just harder than others. We get sucked into the schedules, we snap at our spouses because our kids snapped at us, and even the dog seems on edge. No sock has a match, the sink is full of dirty dishes, and you just don’t have two ounces of energy left. It is time for a quick pick-me-up – and sometimes a pity party crasher. I love great quotes that inspire, make me think, and give me something else to contemplate while I search for those stray socks.

Inspiring Quotes for Parents

Post a new one of these on your desktop, refrigerator, and as a Facebook status to remind you and your parenting friends that life is OK – and life as a parent might be hard – but it is the most amazing job we are fortunate enough to acquire. If your friends are also missing their socks, snapping at spouses, and are completely out of inspiration for parenting, send them one of these quick reminders (even just as a text) to help put things back into perspective.

1. Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. – Elizabeth Stone
2. It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can’t tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself. – Joyce Maynard
3. Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. – Robert Fulghum
4. Children have more need of models than of critics. – Carolyn Coats, Things Your Dad Always Told You But You Didn’t Want to Hear
   
5. There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings. – Hodding Carter, Jr.
6. Do not ask that your kids live up to your expectations. Let your kids be who they are, and your expectations will be in breathless pursuit. – Robert Brault
7. What a child doesn’t receive he can seldom later give. – P.D. James, Time to Be in Earnest
8. Give me the life of the boy whose mother is nurse, seamstress, washerwoman, cook, teacher, angel, and saint, all in one, and whose father is guide, exemplar, and friend. No servants to come between. These are the boys who are born to the best fortune. – Andrew Carnegie
9. The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them. – Frank A. Clark
10. If I had my child to raise all over again,
    I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.
    I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
    I would do less correcting and more connecting.
    I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
    I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.
    I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.
    I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
    I’d do more hugging and less tugging.
    – Diane Loomans, from “If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again”

Funny Quotes for Parents

Sometimes heartfelt hugs and sweet messages of inspiration aren’t exactly what the doctor orders. Some days call for more laughter than introspective thinking, more snickering and snorting (yep – that’s how I laugh). Keep these humorous quotes around for just that moment when you think you can’t take it anymore. The truth is that seeing “the funny” in our lives keeps us grounded and reminds us that laughter can really be the best medicine. And sometimes parenting requires a big ol’ dose of something strong.

1. Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. – Bill Cosby
2. Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. – Phyllis Diller
3. You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they are going. – P.J O’Rourke
4. Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said. – Unknown
5. Raising a teenager is like trying to nail Jell-O to the wall. – Unknown
6. Parenting is like being pecked to death by a chicken. – Unknown
7. Young people don’t always do what they’re told, but if they can pull it off and do something wonderful, sometimes they escape punishment. – Rick Riordan
8. Schizoid behavior is a pretty common thing in children. It’s accepted, because all we adults have this unspoken agreement that children are lunatics. ― Stephen King
9. When kids hit 1 year old, it’s like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit. ―Johnny Depp
10. Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up. Ray Romano

I love the language of these quotes. I love how words can inspire us, make us laugh, and heal us. We can use words the same way with our children – we can lead them, teach them, humor them, and place in their hearts the love we have for them – if we are careful enough with our words. Maybe if we try to speak to our kids as if the world is watching, waiting for inspiration, faithful that we can pull off this thing called parenting, we might actually do a bit better every day. And on the bad days, when we can’t think of anything to other than, “Because I said so!”, sometimes words just aren’t enough and it’s just best to skip ahead to your favorite chocolate and a hot bath.

One last one – top on my personal list of parenting inspiration…

Your children are the greatest gift God will give to you, and their souls the heaviest responsibility He will place in your hands. Take time with them, teach them to have faith in God. Be a person in whom they can have faith. When you are old, nothing else you’ve done will have mattered as much. – Lisa Wingate

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Great Books for Both Learning Styles

The world must be a uniquely beautiful view for one of my kids. He sees things many just walk right past, hears things in a different way, and finds the humorous, perplexing, and inspiring in what we might consider the mundane. His learning styles are unique to him, but I consider it my job to help find tools that will enhance his learning. If you’re the parent or teacher of a child who thrives on visual or linguistic learning strategies, you know that their view on the world is intriguing, and that it is not always easy to use typical teaching tools.

You don’t understand anything until you learn it more than one way. ~Marvin Minsky

I treasure that quote by Minsky. It reminds me that just because things have been taught in certain ways for so long, that it doesn’t mean those are the only effective ways to learn, especially not for every child. Visual and linguistic learners often have similar traits – they enjoy stories, both through pictures and words. The following learning ideas incorporate both of these in unconventional, yet successful ways.

Language Arts Learning Tools for Visual and Linguistic Learners

Study Idioms

We use idioms often without thinking too much about them. They are a natural part of the English language. Some people, however, struggle to decipher idioms, usually taking them literally (which would be a very confusing way to spend the day). One of the markers of kids on the Autism spectrum is an inability to comprehend idioms, where instead these kids take everything very literally. The phrase, “I’ve got a frog in my throat” is construed in a very unintentional way.

Teach your kids about idioms using books like my son’s favorite, Horsing Around – Making Sense of Everyday Idioms, by Katherine Scraper. In the book there are 50 common idioms, each illustrated with funny interpretations and a story passage using the idiom in a dialogue situation (a few short paragraphs). This book appeals to both visual and linguistic learners. The pages also each give space for kids to write their own interpretations of the idioms.

Understanding idioms improves language by

• Helping with oral language development, especially in the early preschool and elementary years
• Building reading skills
• Developing creative writing skills
• Improving speech for ESL students (English as a Second Language)

Mathematics Learning Tools for Visual and Linguistic Learners

Math doesn’t have to be just rote calculations. Perhaps it is my love of the written word that draws me to these next two math tools, but I’ve also seen my kids relate to numbers and mathematical theories in a different way.

Life of Fred

• The Life of Fred books are a series of “story” books, ranging from elementary all the way through high school, that are designed to get students thinking about math. The unconventional approach uses humorous stories to teach kids how to apply mathematical concepts – and it does this all of the way through high school Algebra and Geometry courses.

Charlesbridge Math Adventures

• This series of math adventures, perfect for early elementary students (even my older kids love to listen to these, too), is a fun, engaging way to introduce and reinforce math concepts. Colorful and wonderfully illustrated tales of characters experience adventures that are all intertwined with mathematics. Some of our favorite titles include:
• Sir Cumference and the Isle of Immeter (a tale that teaches kids how to calculate things such as the area of a circle)
• Sir Cumference and the Dragon of Pi (yep – a story about calculating with pi)
• Alice in Pastaland (an adventure centered around problem solving skills)
• Cut Down to Size at High Noon (ratios and proportions set in a western story)

Social Studies Learning Tools for Visual and Linguistic Learners

Do you remember memorizing the list of presidents when you were in elementary school, the names and locations of countries, or the capitols of states? If you were like me, it was simply based on rote memorization, grouped by perhaps 10 names at a time. And the memorization lasted long enough to pass the test – and it was usually not an entertaining experience. If you’re looking for a new way to help your kids memorize these basic (and sometimes boring) facts, try some of these books.

Yo, Millard Fillmore!

• This fun and engaging book helped all of my kids not only learn the names of the US presidents, but their memory of these facts is long lasting, and they really enjoyed the illustrative approach. Each president has a picture and short description as to how the picture fits with that name. Then, each picture (president) is somehow linked to the following one, helping to reinforce the order of presidency.

Yo, Sacramento!

• Just like Yo, Millard Fillmore!, this book engages readers through humorous illustrations that teach kids how to relate the capitol names to the state names.

The Scrambled States of America

• You might be familiar with this title of the book that teaches about the US states. I also use the board game (by the same name) to reinforce the illustrative concepts presented in the book.

Visualize World Geography

• I admit that when I first saw this book I raised an eyebrow. The graphics are – unique – and I wasn’t sure I would be able to get past their uniqueness in order to actually learn from the materials. But then my kids and I started using it and we realized that these mental maps that the book creates really do work. There are short bits that go with each graphic to help tie the mental map together, appealing to both my visual and linguistic learners.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned as a homeschool parent is that learning styles not only influence academics, but they transcend our personalities. It is more than learning about reading, writing, and arithmetic. It is about learning what makes each one of us tick – what gets us excited to try new things, and helps us overcome failures. When we tune into our kids’ learning styles, we give them tools that go far beyond their report cards.

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Book reports, quizzes, worksheets, math assignments, and history lessons. These are the things that comprise our kids’ homework, right? But what if we are missing out on our own homework? The stuff that helps make sure that our kids can successfully work their ways through those assignments and study times.

How Do You View Homework?

If you are frustrated with the amount of homework your children get, their poor attitudes about doing it, the lack of clear instructions for assignments, or the fact that it means you can’t all go to the game on a Tuesday night because your kids have 2 hours of studying, consider how those feelings translate for your kids. If you place a positive attitude on homework, your kids as likely to assume that attitude just as readily as they will assume a negative one. We need to do our homework to make sure we can help our kids meet their full potentials. There are four basic types of homework, each with its own unique purpose.

Practice Homework – Just like it sounds, this type of homework is designed to help reinforce ideas and concepts and provide students with opportunities to master skills.

Preparation Homework – Most often used in classrooms with older students, this prep work involves preparing for future assignments. A teacher may ask students to read ahead so that they are prepared for the following day’s lecture.

Extension Homework – The purpose of this type of homework is to have students take the skills they already have and apply them to a new situation. Your child might be asked to write a report on the habitat of the grey wolf for Composition Class, when they have already written other reports on other topics.

Integration Homework – This type of homework requires that student apply more than one skill set to a situation. In Science students might be asked to research the migratory patterns of birds, write a report on it, and present that information to the class in a 2 minute speech. This incorporates scientific research, report writing, and public speaking.

Homework Begins at School

There is a debate around the country, and even the world, about the effectiveness of homework. Part of that effectiveness begins with how well we communicate with our kids and their schools.

• Get to know your kids’ school policies and teachers. When you better know the source of the homework and the intentions for it (not all schools and teachers view the role of homework the same), you can better guide your kids when they need it.
• Know if your teacher assigns homework as part of a plan to involve parents. Some homework is designed to bring parents and kids together: joint reading assignments, studying for spelling tests, etc. Other homework is designed as solo projects, with no outside assistance allowed.
• Cooperate with the plans your kids’ teachers have when it comes to homework. This not only helps the teachers more effectively do their jobs, but it teaches your kids the value you place on their academics, and emphasizes that school and home aren’t completely separate (learning occurs constantly).
• Pay attention to communication between teachers and home. If your school doesn’t have a plan for relaying expectations for students outside of the home, or the most involved you get is at conferences (when grades have already been earned), try to establish new lines of communication. Some schools post assignments, grades, and class rules online in parent portals. Work with your school to find ways to bridge the gap between the school walls and your doorstep.
• Talk with school administrators and teachers if you see negative homework issues. Once those students leave the building, school personnel often don’t know what happens beyond those walls. They might not fully realize the impacts of the current homework situations.

How Can You Help With Homework?

By help I don’t mean give hints for answers. Homework help from parents can come in many forms, and each child has unique needs.

• Understand your child’s learning styles so that you can help provide for the tools that will help the most.
• Don’t ask: Do you have any homework? Most often past about the 4^th grade, kids have some type of work they can do, even if it means reading for 15 minutes. Instead, ask: What type of homework will you be doing tonight?
• Create a homework plan in your house. Designate specific times to work on homework, and make sure that you have the necessary tools (pencils, papers, computer, etc.).
• Learn about effective study methods, and work with both your children and their teachers to find ways to implement the best ones for your kids.

For most students and parents, homework is an inevitable part of life. Even for me as a homeschooling mom, homework is a daily event around here. My daughter takes classes at the local college, and our exchange student attends the public school. My other kids joke that all their work is homework. How we approach these learning opportunities and responsibilities really does make a difference, and prepares our kids for how to manage their careers and daily life responsibilities – just without the backpack.

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Top Tips for Throwing a Baby Shower

Tags: baby, baby shower, finger foods, planning a bab shower, Pregnancy, recipe

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Easy Ideas for Planning a Baby Shower

There is almost nothing as exciting as the birth of a new baby. If you’re planning a baby shower for a dear friend or family member, you might be feeling the stress of the planning, but don’t forget to relish in the joy you get to share. Whether you are having a traditional shower for just the gals, or you’re throwing a more modern bash with guys, too, these baby shower menu options and decoration tips will help ease a little of the planning stress. Only a baby shower can get so many people so excited about poopy diapers and late nights of drooling and crying (the baby – and parents, too). Let the fun begin!

Menu – Tiny Treats

If you plan the baby shower for mid-afternoon, you don’t have to worry about serving an entire meal, or if you serve enough of these Tiny Treats you can create a meal based on finger foods. Go with a theme of Tiny Treats, and use small salad plates (or just get paper cake plates – those 6” ones). Include Tiny Treats such as

• Small sugar cookies sprinkled with blue, pink, or a combination of colored sugar. You can even get cute cut-out shapes, such as booties or the letter B.
• A veggie tray with things like baby carrots, baby pea pods, and broccoli florets
• Small finger sandwiches – you can find miniature loaves of bread at the bakery or just take a regular loaf and cut the pieces into fourths (removing the crust)
• Pinwheels – try these on whole wheat tortillas (a great option for vegetarians)
• Cream cheese mints – again you can color these with food coloring in blue, pink, or a combination of colors (I use a recipe like this one, and have a mint mold tray shaped like tiny baby feet – but you can just make into circles as well)
• Snacks like nuts, raisins, trail mix, or pillow mints served in mini-muffin paper liners
• Miniature stuffed croissants – take refrigerated rolls of mini croissants and unroll each. Fill with things like small pieces of salami, oregano, and 1 tsp. of shredded cheese, then roll and bake (serve warm).
• Mini muffins – you can go traditional and serve blueberry or get creative and make a huge assortment, including cakes and banana breads (works great for a brunch party)
• Sliders – these mini hamburgers are a great option for a modern baby shower with the guys

Double Duty Decorations

Whenever I throw a party of any kind, I try to make the decorations usable – it’s too sad to just tear down streamers and throw them away when the last guest leaves! At the place setting for the mom-to-be you can include a note telling her that the decorations are also your gift to her.

• Miniature flower pots at each place setting – doubles as take home gifts for guests, and a miniature rock garden as a centerpiece (great gift idea for godmother to get take home)
• A bouquet of baby’s breath on the table for the Grandmothers of the baby to take home
• Instead of streamers over the doorway, a string of laundry line with tiny booties, onesies, and cloth diapers or bibs hanging from it (guests can be asked to contribute to it as well)
• Diaper cakes can be made with either disposable or cloth diapers, and do a great job doubling as decorations and gifts.
• Pages of scrapbooking paper – some hung on the walls, some scattered on tables. The ones on the walls can be completed with pictures and notes for the new mom, the ones on the tables can be works-in-progress that guests can help complete. Scatter scrapbooking supplies (stickers, markers, glue sticks, etc.) and encourage guests to write notes and create pages. A new scrapbook for Mom can be the centerpiece at the table. (This decoration serves triple duty – décor, activity, and gift!)

One last tip – If all of this planning has your budget feeling the pinch, use these gift ideas: coupons for babysitting, bathtub breaks (you’ll come over for an hour so the new mom can just take a bath), and even just a list you create describing why you think your friend will be an amazing mom. One day she’ll be feeling stressed, exhausted, and insecure. This list can be her saving grace when she is feeling like she’s not going to survive the journey – a priceless gift to a new mom.

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Did you ever read The Scarlet Letter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne? In this classic cautionary tale, Hester Prynne is forced to wear a red letter A to announce to the world that she is an adulterer. This public humiliation is a form of discipline, shaming, and an attempt to set an example for the rest of the community about expectations for behavior.

Public Shaming of Little Girl – Her Own Scarlet Letter

Sadly, this classic tale is the story that came to my mind when I saw the posting a father created, publicly shaming his 3-year-old daughter online for defecating in the shower. If you haven’t seen it, you have saved yourself the heartache that I feel when I read her father’s note that he plastered around his daughter’s tiny neck.

I pooped in the shower and daddy had to clean it up. I hereby sign this as permission to use in my yearbook senior year.

Below the declaration rests the scrawl of a 3-year-old’s signature. In news clips her face is obscured, but her tiny 3-year-old frame can’t be denied. Her father has apparently turned to public, online humiliation in his attempts to not have to clean up after his daughter any more. This raises the question:

Is humiliation an effective, healthy form of discipline?

According to researchers and psychologists, the answer is no, especially in such a public forum. Citing cases of tweens and teens who behaved inappropriately, against the rules and guidelines of their parents, and who were subsequently punished publicly, psychologists say that this type of punishment does not win in the long run. Humiliation as a form of discipline can lead to

• Damaged relationships with parents based on a loss of trust.
• Increased anxiety and depression for the child.
• Damaged self-esteem based on the humiliation.
• The same or worse behaviors. Kids who are disciplined by shaming don’t learn to do better next time. They learn to hide things from their parents (loss of trust) and that they aren’t worth doing any better (loss of self-worth).

Parents who have gone on to use public humiliation to discipline tweens and teens have faced mixed reviews. Some cheer them on, saying that it is about time someone took drastic measures to ensure that these inappropriate behaviors ended. Others say that when shaming and humiliation is the tool of choice, the outcomes are rarely positive or built on trust or healthy relationships.

Perhaps what is most disturbing is the age of this young girl. Dr. Marshall Korenblum, the chief psychiatrist from Hincks-Dellcrest Centre in Toronto, says that pre-teens are especially ill-equipped to handle shaming as a form of discipline. He goes on to say that,

“…so it’s overwhelming their defenses…so, absolutely, for a pre-teen I think it is cruel and unusual punishment.”

Korenblum goes on to say that while public humiliation might work more with teens, as they are getting hit where it hurts in the social worlds that are so important to them, in the end the real lesson is that, “it’s OK to not respect somebody else.” At 3 years of age, this girl is facing consequences for a 3-year-old’s mistake that could haunt her for the rest of her life.

• Is she even old enough to read what her father wrote (much less sign it)?
• Is she even old enough to comprehend the humiliation for which her father is aiming?
• If she is 3 years old and facing this type of public shaming, what type of private shaming is she enduring?
• What purpose does this serve – what will she learn from this “lesson”?

The answers to these questions don’t seem to add up to a positive discipline choice that will teach a child to make healthy, appropriate decisions. Most of all, it won’t teach a child why to make better decisions (unless the why part is out of fear of shaming consequences). I get the frustration and understand that challenges of trying to get a young child to do better. Parenting is a challenging job, and many days end without feeling like we make much progress in molding our kids into the adults we hope they can become. It is a constant process, and we make mistakes, too. The difference is that our 3-year-olds can’t really announce our mistakes to the world via social media.

Stop Using the Internet to Discipline

It’s time to stop using the internet as a parenting tool to humiliate our kids. If another person dared to post such shaming photographs of our own young children, we would be up in arms, because we know in our heart of hearts that this will hurt more than it will help.

• We are contributing to their digital reputation – the one future classmates, teachers, employers, and family members will see.
• We are building or tearing down their self-image, and we are doing it in the most public way possible.
• We are teaching our kids how to use the internet. It can be as a tool to connect, communicate, and from which to learn, or it can be used as a public square where we hurl virtual stones.
• We are teaching our kids how to treat each other.

Is this how we really want to teach our children to treat each other? Are we turning into a society where we must fear public reprisals, our own Scarlet Letters, for each mistake we make, to be plastered online for the entire world to see? I don’t know about you, but I am thankful that I was left to meander through my childhood mistakes without the eyes of the world watching.

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