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Without Money Becoming the Most Valuable Thing

Money doesn’t grow on trees. Money can’t buy happiness. Money talks. And the new one my daughter recently shared with me… M.O.M. stands for Made of Money. Teaching kids the value of money, without letting money become a core value, is a challenging job. Our kids are exposed to so much commercialism, and it is only natural that they get excited about the thing that often cost money – toys, trips, things. But statistics in the United States show that we need to do so much more when it comes to financial knowledge and our kids.

During the holidays it can be even more overwhelming to try to teach financial literacy to our kids, but there are some tools we can use to see our families safely through to the other side of Christmas without our kids, and us, going mad over money.

1. Use Bankaroo, the Free Financial Planning App for Kids

If you’re kids are asking for money left and right, or see stars light up when they receive gifts of Christmas money, help them to make good financial decisions by using this free app, Bankaroo, that will help them make financial goals and help you see where they still need some help. This app allows you to work with your kids in a virtual world that can imitate their real financial goals.

• Users can input how much money they have in a savings account, how much allowance (if any) is received, and if there are any matching funds.
• Kids can track their deposits and withdrawals, allowing for recurring deposits and withdrawals and one time transactions.
• There is an entire section devoted to making goals – why I like this program the most. Kids record financial goals – buying a new bike, saving to make a donation or buy a gift, etc., and then track how they meet those goals. (Just a programming note – when you enter your goal amount, don’t include the $ symbol or it will not read your amount correctly – so instead of $25, just type in 25.)
• Kids can also earn virtual badges for various accomplishments.

2. Take Them Shopping with a Purpose and a Plan

I am recovering from a night of shopping the Black Friday deals with 3 teenagers. We made lists, made plans, and then hit the stores. And through it all we talked about prices, needs vs. wants, and why we were making purchases. To help you guide your kids through holiday shopping and teach them how to make good decisions, try asking the following question (of yourself and them).

Why am I buying this item? If the answer is only “because it is a good deal,” then ask yourself if that is a responsible spending decision.

Put your kids in control of the finances, and shop with cash. It is amazing how much power those two things have on our spending.

• Our exchange student has to manage his money judiciously, and he even remarked that it is so amazing how much more he pays attention to his spending because it is his own money. Help your kids determine their budget, and let them spend their own money. Money mistakes are much more powerful in their lessons when it is your own money.
• Shopping actually puts you in control of spending. There is a finite amount in your hand and you are much more likely to spend it wisely.

You can also teach your kids about financial responsibility, especially during the holidays, by setting some parameters for holiday spending.

• Set a family budget. You can get detailed about how much per child is typically spent, or at least create a budget for other expenses (How much do you spend on Aunt Sally and the cousins each year?).
• Set spending limits for gifts, especially for extended family.
• Set priorities and realistic expectations. Even when my kids were small and would write letters to Santa, they knew to choose 2 or 3 top things on their lists, and they just knew Santa wouldn’t be delivering a pony or new full-sized airplane.
• Be a good example. Last night when I was elbow to elbow with other shoppers, and face to face with “good deals”, I would stick to my lists that we made ahead of time.

3. Focus on the Free and the Fun

Yes – toys and gadgets are part of the draw of excitement for the holidays. And if you’re like me, there is a strong, faith-filled reason why I want my kids to be celebrating (and it doesn’t involve celebrating the latest i-Anything). The spirit of Christmas can still be filled with wonderful activities and opportunities, and celebrating these with your kids places the emphasis on what matters in your life.

Take advantage of free and fun activities in your communities.

• Concerts at churches and other local venues
• Parades of lights
• Holiday plays
• Volunteering
• Watching Christmas movies together
• Baking holiday treats together to share with neighbors and friends
• So much more!

When you fill their hearts and minds with memories and purpose, there is less focus on filling their stockings with gifts. 83% of college students have at least one credit card, and the average debt is $2000. Let’s help our kids figure out how to manage and control their money before they find that the bills are controlling them. The season of giving is the perfect time to give our kids lessons about financial responsibility.

It’s good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it’s good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven’t lost the things that money can’t buy. ~George Horace Lorimer

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How Old Should Kids Be Before They Can Date?

Hanging out. Going out. Dating. Going with. Group dating. Hooking up. Gulp. Suddenly potty training and teaching the kids to tie their shoes seems so much easier. But as a dear friend reminded me of my own words recently, we need to try to be conscious parents, and the world of teens needs us to be conscious and caffeinated-beyond-belief when it comes to dating.

And this leads to the age-old question: How old do kids need to be in order to date?

As I’ve been finding out, that answer is different for every household, and some of the answers might surprise you (at both ends of the spectrum). I know families who don’t have age minimums, even on group dating, and their 12 year-old can have an un-chaperoned date. But I also know families who believe that dating is only to be used as an immediate step before marriage – so nothing is allowed until that child is essentially no longer a child.

According to research and author David Elkind (The Hurried Child), dating – which is considered to be the change of a relationship from just friends to something on a romantic scale – should not be considered for most kids younger than 14 years of age.

• Kids younger than 14 don’t tend to have the social skills needed for dating. They try to emulate relationships based on television characters rather than on personal, healthy needs.
• Teens younger than 14 have often not yet developed their own identities. They simply are not sure who they are, so they have a much more difficult time determining who might be a good fit in their lives.
• Young teenagers and tweens have a more difficult time resisting peer pressure – which can result in poor decisions when it comes to sex, alcohol and drugs, violence, emotional abuse, and more.
• Kids younger than 14 who date lose out on the value of friendships – the guys playing ball in the yard together, the sleepovers with best friends – because these things are no longer a priority.
• Young teens are not always equipped with the maturity needed for a dating relationship, and they are at increased risks for premature sexual relationships. The younger teens are when they start dating, the more likely they are to become sexually active during their teenage years.

How Do I Know My Child is Ready to Date?

I admit that for me, it was easier to assign a number to this issue (and I felt like 25 years-old was a good age to start…), but the more I parent and the more conscious I become, the more I see that age and readiness are two vastly different points. Dr. Elkind feels that 14 years is an appropriate age for kids to be allowed to date (and many other professionals agree with him), but it is the general sense of readiness that he describes that I agree with more.

• Social maturity
• Emotional maturity
• Intellectual maturity

All of these three ingredients need to be on board in order for parents to consider the readiness of their kids and dating. Without these, our kids aren’t going to be coming to us and talking with us about these relationships and aren’t going to be able to make the safe and responsible decisions that dating requires.

Above all – we need to work to make sure that our relationships with our kids are ready for them to begin dating. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Do we talk openly about the responsibilities of dating – emotionally, socially, etc.?
• Does my child come to me with questions?
• Am I available for my child when he or she has questions?
• Are my kids and I discussing both of our expectations when it comes to dating?

Define these terms with your kids: hanging out, going out, going with, dating, group dating, hooking up

Focus more on the expectations and responsibilities than the age, and if you are honest with yourself, you will likely see that tweens just don’t have the developmental capacity for dating, just as preschoolers don’t have the developmental capacity to be left home alone.

Listen first. If you are fortunate to have your kids come to you about dating, take a deep breath and listen first. Then take some time to formulate your responses, and avoid the knee-jerk “You can date when you’re 25!” response. Otherwise it might be one of the last times your kids come to you about dating.

Talk with other parents and ask questions. While I admit that it can be an awkward conversation to have, ask the other parents why types of conversation they are having with their kids.

• What are the expectations of the kids?
• Who will be there?
• Who will be driving your kids to and from the activity?
• Is there a back-up plan? (If the movie is sold out, do the kids have plans and permission to do something else?)

Look for Red Flags

Unaware – Parents who aren’t aware that the other person exists or that they are “hanging out” with your child aren’t having conversations with their kids about the situation. This doesn’t mean that they are bad parents – it just means that somewhere along the way something went amiss. Maybe the teen thought their parent wouldn’t understand, didn’t care, or would be too restrictive. The point is that if the other parents aren’t aware of the (potential) relationship, then it is time to turn on the lights for everyone.

Secrecy – If your teen doesn’t want you to meet his or her friend, or insists that your house is too boring so the movie-watching and hanging-out time is always done elsewhere, this can be a red flag. Sure, it might just mean that your teen is having typical “my family is a bunch of aliens and I can’t relate to them” moment, but when it comes to teens and dating, embarrassment of family is just not an option. The secrecy might also mean that the teens aren’t supervised elsewhere, and have way too many opportunities for alone time.

Violence – Dating violence is a frightening reality. Parents need to have ongoing discussions about dating violence, and help their kids define the term. Some kids think that it is only violence if there is blood or bruising, but we need to let our kids know that dating violence often reveals itself as controlling behaviors and demeaning words. Make sure your kids know how to participate in a relationship without violence.

Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/BetterParenting/~3/zX7X_4RUs8Y/

The Funnies are Serious Business

Tags: comics, education, free printable, graphic novels, printables, prtinable, reading, reluctant readers, writing

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How Comics Can Help with Reading and Writing Skills

It honestly didn’t really register with me that it counted as reading. That is before I had a son who only really wanted to read in short bursts – like how his brain operated for many things. Before I realized it he was hooked on comics, and I learned to appreciate the short, witty, and sometimes confusing world of comics and graphic novels. This child went from rolling his eyes towards the Heavens to having a favorite aisle in the library (all kids need favorite aisles in the library!).

Encouraging Reading Through Comics

In order to keep him reading, I helped him find every kind of comic book in the library, and we used graphic novels for deeper subjects. He also took a short comic writing class with his brothers and some friends. In the end, his heart belongs to old-school Garfield, but if you flash the comic section of a newspaper he will race to be the first to read that page (all kids should race to read something!). Researchers and educators have noticing the power of comics and reading as well.

• Comics tend to be shorter and more manageable.
• Comics are reliable – they use the same characters strip after strip.
• Kids are more likely to read when the material is something they enjoy.
• Graphic novels are drawing older reluctant readers into the joy of reading.

Encouraging Writing Through Comics

Then I also noticed a trend in my son’s writing – he began to be eager to write when he could write as a comic strip. If I would ask him to write anything else, it was usually met with moans and more rolling eyes to the Heavens. But if he can convey his thoughts in a comic strip – he gladly fills the page. So we write with comics – and he his spelling and punctuation have soared. When it comes to writing, comics offer lots of wonderful opportunities.

• Kids learn how to write dialogue.
• Kids learn how to formulate internal dialogue in the forms of thought bubbles.
• Kids learn how to sequence their sentences and tell stories.
• Kids can express themselves artistically as well, and the pressure is taken off of just their writing abilities.

If you have reluctant readers or writers (or just kids who want to explore something new), take a look at these lesson plans for teaching all about the basics of comics. Then encourage your kids to develop their own comic strips. Read comics with your kids and point out the different basic parts (listed below and in the printable) of comic strips.

• Printable Activity for Kids and Comics

Basic Parts of a Comic

Panels – These are what most of us probably think of when it comes to comics – the square or rectangular boxes that form together to make a comic strip. You might also see circular panels in some comics.

• Blank panels of 3 – a comic strip – in a rectangular pattern
• Blank panels with gutters

Balloons – These are where the words and thoughts of the comic characters come to life, and are often referred to as thought bubbles or speech balloons. The thought bubbles usually have a series of small bubbles leading to a larger “thought” – somewhat like a cloud, and tell us what the characters are thinking. Speech balloons usually have some sort of tapered line or shape, called pointers, that lead from the speech bubble to the character who is saying the words.

Splashes – There are two main kinds of splashes – splash balloons and a general splash. Splash balloons are those dramatic, jagged shapes that you would see enclosing words like “Pow!” or “Yikes!”. One splash usually refers to a title panel or one, large panel that is very dramatic.

Gutter – Just like it sounds, this is the extra space in a comic strip. There are typically no other drawings in these spaces, which are usually narrow strips between panels, but some artists do bleed the panels into this space.

For other tips to help your reluctant readers and writers, try these printable activities.

writing activities

reading lists for older kids

reading printables

writing printables

reluctant readers no-more

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We are in a snow globe, sitting peacefully amid the plastic, waterproof flakes, and suddenly someone gives us a shake. Then as the flakes swirl, the annoying shaker decides to unleash a full maraca-style shake action on us and we are left dizzy, unable to see clearly, and disorientated. This is how life feels in my house the past two years when it comes to traditions, and I’m struggling as a mom to help my children settle amid the blizzard. Our traditions for holidays, birthdays, and even just those little, comforting traditions have become jumbled. We watched a dear loved one become ill with cancer, mashed and mixed up life to be with her as much as possible, and then had to say good-bye. We have watched close loved ones move away. My parents are now snowbirds, so Christmas traditions suddenly blew away, and other family dynamics have changed so much that sometimes it doesn’t seem like we are even in the right place – our globe just doesn’t feel like our own.

Building Traditions with Kids

Ask my husband – I’m nuts about traditions. And I am not alone (or even too crazy) for feeling this way. According to research, Dr. Martin Cohen says that children are drawn to rituals and traditions, “artistically, spiritually and emotionally.” Traditions also help to provide our kids with healthy foundations that:

• Strengthen core beliefs
• Build self-esteem
• Give tools with which to deal with stress, fear, and anxiety
• Provide kids with a sense of control, security, and continuity

When we provide routines and traditions for our children, we are giving them more than memories in their scrapbooks. We are using those rituals to help shape who our children are, and who they will become.

5 Ways to Develop Rituals with Kids

We’ve been sorting through family photographs and mementos, separating each into different storage totes for each child, and reliving memories. My kids are at ages where there are striking differences between my memory of that day in the mall, sitting on Santa’s lap, and the memory my child has of Santa’s stinky breath, yet super soft voice. Research also shows that there are different reasons why our kids remember certain aspects of their childhood, and what we can do to strengthen those memories.

• If you want them to remember it – do it more than once. Think about the things you remember from childhood. They are the routines – watching movies together on Friday nights, stopping for doughnuts after church, looking for constellations as you drove home from Grandma’s house – these small things we do without great planning, but they were done often.
• Write it down. If your child is too young to tell you how she feels, write down her reactions to certain things. If you kids are old enough, ask them to dictate the memories and record their thoughts on the backs of pictures, as captions on digital pictures, and in journals you keep together.
• Record their stories. Video and voice recordings are priceless keepsakes. One of my favorite things my husband has done is to record the voices of our kids at different ages – just simple things like saying (or trying to say) their names, saying phrases such as, “I love you, Mommy”, and capturing their laughter in audio files. (The kids absolutely love to listen to these as well, and it only takes seconds to record.)
• Have them choose their favorite drawings and school papers – their reasons matter to them and they will know why it has been saved. You can keep some of your favorites, too, but the memories will be more meaningful for your kids if they had a say in which items were kept.
• Save a few tangibles – their baby hat, first keychain, or first pair of glasses. My children love to touch and hold the items that they remember cherishing. My 9 year-old still has the teddy bear his siblings picked out for him before he was even born.

Building Traditions with Kids

Sometimes we get so busy with the day-to-day craziness that we lose sight of all the ways we have the opportunities to build traditions with our kids. According to publications from Ohio State University, there are 3 main types of traditions parents should recognize for their kids:

1. Celebrations – These are traditions built around special occasions such as holidays and birthdays.
2. Family Traditions – These are specific traditions that are unique to individual families, such as Friday night game night, summer vacations at Grandma’s, etc.
3. Pattered Family Interactions – These are routines that we often forget help to create traditions that are important to our kids, even small things such as morning routines, who cooks dinner, reading together in the evening, etc.

What to do When Traditions End

It just isn’t the same. I’ve heard those words a lot in my house over the past two years, and my heart sags each time my kids say this phrase, for I am feeling it, too. However, we are slowly emerging from the sadness of losing some traditions and getting excited as we start to build new ones. If your family is struggling, especially this holiday season, with trying to build new traditions and rituals, try some of these ideas.

• Volunteer together. Nothing makes me and my kids stop the pity-party like volunteering to help someone less fortunate, and the volunteer opportunities can serve as new rituals for your own family.
• Start small. Sometimes when I see my kids sad about a tradition ending as life events have changed things beyond our control, I want to wave my Magical Mom Wand and make a grand gesture that will distract them. But trying to overdo new traditions can backfire. Can you really keep topping it each year? Instead of going all out, try getting back to the basics of the tradition.
• Think outside the box. Get creative in your solutions and try celebrating in ways that are non-traditional. If birthday celebrations are the source of sadness because of a loss in your family, spend a year celebrating half-birthdays.
• Don’t try to recreate. My mom always hosted the most magical Christmas Eve celebrations for our family, but now we are a country apart and my kids still miss that magic. The first year I fretted over how I would duplicate what Mom did, but then I realized that what I needed to do was create new traditions for my family.

Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/BetterParenting/~3/cFEht8ocOKE/

Identity Theft and Your Kids

Tags: digital reputation, ID theft, identity theft, kids and ID theft, reputation management

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Is Someone Stealing Their Lives?

You agonize over baby names, hold their hands when they cross the street, and teach them all about stranger danger because they are your most precious gifts and you want to protect them. But do you worry about someone trying to steal their identities – even when they aren’t old enough to spell their names?

The scary reality is that our kids are 51 time more likely to be the victims of identity theft than adults.

Why Are Kids So Vulnerable to Identity Theft?

Think about how many times a week you check in online with your bank, use your debit card at the gas station, or even just open your mail. Whenever you do this, you are using your identity. Now think about your kids. They are born and you present them with that baby name you lovingly chose, the birth certificates are signed, and your children are assigned a social security card number. And then they spend the next years climbing, eating, learning, and growing – but beyond knowing their own name as we sing it to them in a bedtime song, our little ones don’t really have a regular need for their personal information.

They aren’t applying for mortgages, jobs, credit cards, or car loans. They use their identifying information so much less than we do that it leaves them vulnerable – they wouldn’t see a red flag on their bank account because they either don’t have bank accounts or aren’t yet worrying about balancing their checks. Even when they get older, that doesn’t remove some of the vulnerability – in fact – it can increase it.

Norton’s Online Family Report shows that:

• 63% of kids have responded to scams online – they don’t have the maturity to realize that “You just won $100,000, if only you give us your mom’s credit card number!” is not a legitimate offer.
• More kids than ever are shopping online, many with their parents’ permission.
• 77% of kids have download at least one virus – and some of these viruses exist to mine personal information from computers.
• More children than ever are using P2P (peer-to-peer) file sharing, where open connections exist between computers.
• 41% of kids have been approached by strangers online and asked for personal identifying information.

What Can I Do to Protect My Kids?

Parents aren’t completely helpless when it comes to protecting their children’s identities, but there is no one, easy answer. It requires diligence and commitment, and it begins when your kids are tiny tots and continues from there.

• If you open a banking, savings, or an investment account for your young child, monitor the account’s activities, even if it is held through and managed by an investment firm.
• Obtain a free credit report each year for your child just to make sure that there are no transactions listed for your child that shouldn’t be there. The earlier you find these errors and crimes, the less impact they will have on your child’s future.
• Don’t share personal identifying information online about your kids – birthdates, Social Security numbers, or other identifiers.
• Monitor your child’s internet activities and use anti-virus software.
• Teach your child to make secure passwords and login IDs and always keep your own record of these.
• Teach your kids about digital reputation management and the realities of stranger danger.
• If your child uses social media sites, uses Twitter, or is texting, make sure that you have detailed conversations about privacy and that you both understand and use the privacy control settings.
• Watch out for junk mail addressed to your kids – they shouldn’t be receiving those solicitations for colleges, loans, and credit cards before they are potty trained. If you see these offers coming in, it might be a sign that someone has forged your child’s age on an application or form. Check credit reports immediately if you suspect this has happened.

Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/BetterParenting/~3/WF_1l0by1zI/

Activities that Bring Gratitude to the Table

Tags: attitude of gratitude, gratitiude, holiday, printable, printables, thanksgiving

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Printable Activities to Put the “Thanks” in Thanksgiving

Great food, amazing family, and fun games – three keys to a Happy Thanksgiving for our family. Each year I anticipate Thanksgiving through the eyes of my children, and try to draw them in to the spirit of the holiday with an attitude of gratitude and an abundance of fun. For we know that once Thanksgiving is over, we are in a tumble, rumble, roll towards Christmas with our children. So put the brakes on for a bit and plan some fun and meaningful activities for you and your entire family this Thanksgiving season!

Printable Activities for Attitudes of Gratitude

Thanksgiving is the kick-off to a wonderful holiday season, but it can be so easy for our families to get wrapped up in the chaos and commercialism of the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Help keep your kids grounded and form a little perspective this Thanksgiving (and Christmas) season with a few fun and easy printable activities you can do right at your Thanksgiving table.

I Am Thankful! – Print this form for an acrostic poem (you can do one for the family, work in groups, or print one for each person). It just takes a few minutes to complete, and it helps bring everyone together to share in some gratitude.

Blessings in a Box – Make these table decorations that also serve as reminders to have attitudes of gratitude and thankfulness. The instructions are on the printable sheets, and you can print as many tags as you need.

Our Thanksgiving Feast – This is a holiday twist on traditional mad libs that gets your kids using their grammar skills (shh – don’t tell them while they’re on school break). Play it the traditional way, having one person as the “caller” who asks the others around your Thanksgiving table for the various parts of speech to fill in the blanks (without revealing the story). When the caller has written in all of the blanks, he or she reads the story aloud. Even though it brings a bit of silliness to the table, it can remind your kids to think about why they are thankful.

Extending the Gratitude

Before we know it the pies will be eaten and the day of thanks will come to a close. If you are heading out for Black Friday shopping and jumping right into the next phase of this season, keep a sense of gratitude with you. (I’m as eager as the next person for a great bargain, but it is also my time to hang out with my daughter and make great memories.)

• Make the first item you buy for someone in need.
• Take your kids to the craft stores to buy supplies to make homemade gifts.
• Make the last stop of the day to do a good deed for someone else – grab the kids and take dinner to an elderly neighbor, encourage the kids to do a chore for a family member or friend (walk the dog, help clean the garage, etc.).

Keep the spirit of thankfulness in your hearts – and keep looking for ways to bring it more to life each day with your kids. I am thankful for the family and friends who surround me, the faith that guides me, and the opportunity to look forward to each day doing things I love to do.

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Infant Massage Therapy Promotes Health and Communication

The gentle touch of parent’s hand can work miracles. Infant massage is not some new-age hokey business that requires you to become a licensed vegan or take up holistic medicine entirely. Call it cuddles, snuggling, or even loving if it makes you feel better, but just don’t let the term infant massage therapy scare you away from this very practical and beneficial practice.

What is Infant Massage?

Infant massage therapy has been practiced in countries around the world for centuries, in many cultures as a natural form of parenting that is second nature, much like how we might consider burping an infant to be a “given” practice. However, it wasn’t until the 1970’s that it became a discussed and purposefully taught behavior in the United States, although many moms were instinctively doing it for decades. Vimala Schneider McClure, author of Infant Massage, a Handbook for Loving Parents, was a pioneer in bringing infant massage to the minds of parents and encouraging its use as an effective parenting tool. Her book is a great guide to start practicing infant massage – but you don’t have to buy a book in order to implement some of the practices and see the rewards.

What Does Infant Massage Do?

Each of my children came into this world with their own set of needs and preferences – and each reacted to infant massage differently. There is no one perfect method or use for all babies, but if you try different approaches you are bound to find something that works for your little one.

Calms fussy babies – Without fail you could set a clock to my son’s fussiness to arrive at 11:30 p.m. each night. He suffered from a combination of being tired, an upset stomach, and his own circadian rythms that dictates his moods. I would put on Elvis (his favorite music for some reason), spread out a blanket on the floor, and begin to gently rub his legs. I would stretch his legs and work with them to gently bend his legs (never doing it when he resisted). This rhythmic motion and the calming touch of my hands (along with good old Elvis), would quiet my son almost instantly. For your baby it might mean:

• Gently caressing your baby’s back or head
• Rubbing your baby’s belly in a circular motion
• Using touch points to help calm you baby

Check out this video that shows just some of the basics when it comes to infant massage therapy. They recommend using an oil, but my kids didn’t even need that as much as they just needed the touch. If you do decide to use some type of oil or lotion, talk with your baby’s health care provider to make sure that your choice is appropriate for your baby’s skin.

Improves immune function and helps heal – Another one of my sons suffered from RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus) and the lingering effects, causing several severe bouts of pneumonia. While his infections were treated with medications, his discomfort was often alleviated with infant massage. I worked with nurses to develop a way to hold him in my arms and use massage while keeping him upright to improve his breathing.

Infant massage offers many other benefits for both parents and babies.

• It helps to build a bond between you and your child.
• It can relax your fussy baby.
• It can improve weight gain – with one study showing that 15 minutes of massage a day helped babies gain needed weight 47% faster than without infant massage.
• Babies who are provided with infant massage have lower levels of stress hormones and reduced anxiety.
• Infant massage teaches parents about the nonverbal cues that their babies give, which are vitally important since infants don’t have the ability to put into words how they are feeling.

If you decide to try infant massage, check out some books from your library and talk with your baby’s healthcare provider. Babies are quite flexible, but they are also very vulnerable to certain movements. You might also want to consider parenting methods such as kangaroo mother care (one more way to use close contact to calm and soothe your baby). Infant massage therapy can become a part of your daily routine with your infant that builds your bond, improves communication and overall health, and is another tool for connected parenting.

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5 Free Reading Printables

Tags: goals, kids and reading, printables, reading, reading charts, reading worksheets

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To Encourage Reluctant Readers

Not every child is an automatic reader – those kids who seem to pick up reading as easily as blinking and smiling, and who always seem to have books tucked under their arms (if not held in front of their faces). If you have a reluctant reader, or your child likes to read but needs extra help understanding the stories behind the words, try these free printable worksheets and goal charts that can take the chore and bore out of reading.

1. Bookmark Minutes – Print these bookmarks and have your child record the minutes he spends reading on each line, either for each day or for each time he sits down to read the book. Even reluctant readers or kids who struggle with reading can feel successful when they can count minutes, instead of pages, that they spent reading.
2. Chapter Chart – Sometimes reading chapter books can be daunting tasks for kids who are either struggling to read or for those who just haven’t been caught up in the excitement of books yet. Sometimes kids simply feel too much pressure to enjoy reading that they think they have to enjoy everything they read. This chart encourages kids to think about each chapter, and gives them permission not to like it.
   
3. Basic Reading Chart – This chart encourages kids to record the titles of the books they read, and each book helps them get to their goal of reading 5 books. You can work with your kids to determine how long it might take to read those 5 books, and whether or not there will be a small token reward at the end of each book. This could even be a sticker to put on the step, a new bookmark, or you could just let the reading be the reward.
4. Chain of Events – When kids start to read books that involve bigger plots, it can be helpful to have them think about all of the details that make up the story. When they can recognize details in the stories they read, they will also improve their writing abilities. Details work together, just like a chain of events – and reading can unlock so many doors!
5. Following Clues – One of the skills that older readers can develop is how to follow clues in a story. Sometimes as kids read they just aren’t sure which clues might be needed to solve the mystery or problem. Have them record the clues they think they find along the way, but also make sure they go back and look at the clues they recorded after they read the story to see if they would make a good reading detective!

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Controversy Over Modern Doll

Just in time for the holidays, a stir has been created in the toy world. The Breast Milk Baby, created by Berjuan Toys out of Spain, is being criticized for sexualizing young girls and being too provocative to be put on American toy-store shelves. While manufacturers and consumers seem more at ease in European markets, it is ironically Americans who don’t want this doll to make their kids’ Christmas wish lists. Apparently Americans are too concerned with provocative images and the sexualizing of young children.

The Breast Milk Baby comes complete with a soft crying sound, the ability to burp (which makes it fascinating for some kids I know…), and it makes a sucking sound, much like a baby would make while nursing. The catch that seems to be bothering some parents is that the sucking sound is triggered by flower decals on a halter top that is worn by the child playing with the doll. When the baby doll’s lips come in contact with the shirt decals (which are placed over where the nipples would be on a mother), a sensor is triggered and nursing sounds can be heard.

Critics say that this type of toy sexualizes children and should not be available – and that people in public don’t want to see this type of behavior. This thinking seems aligned with the same people who try to stop mothers from breastfeeding in public (even when fully covered). Breastfeeding has been around since – well – the time of people, and is a natural way to feed children (in fact, is the #1 recommended way to feed children around the world). Even though the decals are little flakey for my personal preferences, perhaps it is time to give our kids dolls that at least mimic positive, loving, actions that aren’t sexual in nature.

Would you rather give your child one of the following toys?

5 Toys that Are Worse for Children

Struts – The toy horse that loves to wear…heels…and strut her stuff. These horse figures are intended for young girls and claim to combine a girl’s love of horses with her love of fashion, and are packaged as “fashion flirty fun”. The horses come with wigs and hot pants – every equestrian’s dream attire for that prized pony.

Spring Break Doll – Mattel has done it again and brought us the Monster High Skill Shores Friday the 13^th Frankie Stein Spring Break Doll. Yes – that is the real name. And yes, this doll is intended for kids, sold at places like Toys R Us, and she is wearing a mini swimsuit that has her all ready for spring break. She is advertised as being “ready for some roaring good times…and has a cool treat to help her spring into break!” Since when do tweens and younger go on spring break trips for roaring good times, complete with a cool drink?

Pee Poo – Yep – just what it sounds like. Except these are soft and cuddly versions of pee poo. OK – that doesn’t even make them exceptions, just creepy. Even after potty training many children, I just can’t see the place for these creatures – time to flush those away.

WWE in Tight Pants – The first time I saw this guy, Cody Rhodes, I thought I had somehow inadvertently stumbled into the toy section for adults. The WWE “wrestling” star comes with what appear to be tight spandex Speedos and a bag to cover his head. Enough said.

Cavity Creations – OK – maybe it is wrong to pick on dentists, but this Play-Doh dentist set is creepy. The idea behind the toy might promote oral health, but the name spells shivers – Dr. Drill and Fill. What child is comforted about going to the dentist with a name like that?

The toys we choose to fill our kids’ toyboxes with and trip over during the night as we stumble to see who was coughing or calling for a glass of water might also fill our nightmares. But a doll that breastfeeds shouldn’t. I would much rather have kids learning and pretending about caring for babies than have them develop a storyline for a vacation that Mr. Rhodes, WWE star takes with the Spring Break doll.

There has long been a debate over whether or not toy guns make children violent, and researchers tend to agree that violence makes kids violent, but toys allow them to express their ideas, concerns, and questions. Let’s help our kids find toys that stretch their imaginations, but that don’t need to involve flirty animals or wrestlers in hot pants. Or maybe those are better than these “learning toys” for new parents – these breastfeeding puppets might just win the booby prize for bad gimmicks.

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Book Banning and the Call for a Rating System

Death, witchcraft, gore, and sex. These are just some of themes that you can see on the covers – and within the pages – of books in the children’s wing at your local library. And these are just a few of the reasons why some adults want books either banned from the children’s wings of libraries, or to have a rating system on books (much like the movie rating system).

Should Books Be Rated for Kids?

The author of the Vampyre Labyrinth series, GP Taylor, is now changing his tune and pushing for age certifications on children’s literature. He admits that some of the books he has written are too frightening, and says that, “I have changed my mind: I think children’s literature has gone too far.”

Part of this appears to be stemming from a recent analysis of award-winning children’s literature. This analysis shows that modern children’s literature is more likely to feature characters with troubled or absent parents, or children who have been abandoned. However, if you ask one of my sons, Disney movies have been doing this since its inception. Long ago at the tender age of 6 this sweet son of mine swore off Disney movies – detesting them because the mom always dies. From Bambi to Cinderella to Finding Nemo – this theme of motherless children forced to endure life on their own has been a mainstay of classic children’s movies. My son banned Disney movies for himself – but we hardly ban them from the house as he discerned for himself what he felt good about watching or not (and now he loves scary movies – but still not Disney).

Opponents to book rating systems say that all it would do is create an almost innate desire in kids to read the book on the top shelf. It must be really good if it stays on the top shelf. In our library right now we have the children’s wing separated by signs – Early Readers, Young Adult Fiction, etc. – and that seems to work well enough for most families. Beyond creating that mystique that a rating system would do, rating books based on content would be such a subjective act. Who would be assigned or corralled to determine what books, at what ages, my kids should read? The only answer I am comfortable with is: my family.

Banning Books – Still a Modern Practice

While you don’t really hear of book burning in the news, you probably also aren’t hearing of book banning – but it is still happening. In fact, book banning is still trending enough so that there is an entire coalition, backed by the Library of Congress, dedicated ending the practice. You can even check out the map of book banning across the United States. Banned Books Week, recently held September 30^th thru October 6^th, aims to protect literature (and readers) from the judgments of a select few.

Targeting The Hunger Games – and Other Modern Book Banning

The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins, is just one recent title that some people have attempted to ban in libraries, schools, and bookstores. I was even asked recently by a parent if I would dare to let my kids read the series, to which I gave a smile and then proceeded to talk about how my kids not only read the books, but attended a book club devoted to the story. I reminded this nervous mother, who had been hearing from other parents how this book might be too violent for kids, that books aren’t inherently bad – it is how we interpret and use them that matters.

Parents use censorship all of the time – we monitor what programs our kids watch on television, we monitor the conversations in which they participate, and we monitor their activities. Book banning and rating, however, mean that someone else gets to choose what is best for your child.

A devout Christian will likely get much more out of The Chronicles of Narnia than will an atheist, because there is Biblical context for the Christian that he applies to the book, while the atheist views it merely as a form of literature. It is the context of life that we provide for our kids that they will use when discerning how a story does or does not relate to them.

Monitoring Book Choices for Kids

If you are concerned about a book selection your child is eager to read, don’t just put the book on the top shelf, out of reach, and walk away (or worse yet – try to ban it so others don’t have access to it).

• Read the books with your kids, either aloud together or each grab your own copy.
• Don’t banish scary stories – research shows that kids benefit from the imaginitive and emotional process when they are exposed to scary stories.
• Talk about the themes, the plots, the characters, and the parallels (if any) to real life.
• Talk about the differences between fiction and non-fiction.
• Find a book club for your kids so they can discuss these ideas among peers.
• Find other books with similar themes that you think are more appropriate and start there, willing to continue to the next level if your child still seems interested.

Famously Banned Books

You can put books like The Hunger Games in the same category of books such as

• To Kill a Mockingbird
• Where the Wild Things Are
• The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
• The Call of the Wild
• For Whom the Bell Tolls
• Invisible Man
• The Red Badge of Courage
• And so many more influential pieces of literature

All of these titles were criticized and in some places, banned. Yet, on a historical plane, all of the above titles have contributed to literature as an art and as contributions to humanity. Before you jump on the book banning bandwagon, ask yourself this question.

What is it about my child that worries me in regards to this book?

Maybe it is that your child is not yet mature enough for the plot, not yet sensitive enough for the emotions, or not yet morally grounded enough for the ideas presented. Then consider if the book is really the issue. If a book is going to thwart my child’s development, set his moral compass askew, or threaten what we know and believe about respect, integrity, and relationships, then the book is the least of my concerns.

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