Help Your Child Set and Reach Goals
The Value of Goals
How many times have people asked your kids, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” This ambiguous question leaves some children dreaming of being the first astronaut to take a horse into space and open an ice cream shop, while other children are left in a mild state of frozen panic because they can’t imagine ever growing old enough to make those decisions. No matter how your child answers that question, we as parents need to take a hard look at how we help (or don’t help) our children set goals and reach them. Goal setting is one of the most important skills we can help our children acquire.
I recently came across an interesting thesis paper that examined the importance of goal setting for children when it comes to their education. The paper in part examined research that shows how disconnected children are from their own academic progress because they are not setting their own goals. Teachers have state and federal guidelines, parents and school boards have specific expectations, and by the time it trickles down to the children, there is little emphasis put on the individual goals that the kids might envision. Therefore, without goal setting, academic progress becomes less important and more difficult to achieve.
As a home school parent I am thankful that I can place much of the goal setting before my children and have them deeply involved with the directions of their studies. While I am still accountable for certain aspects of their education, they are allowed certain latitude for subjects, resources used, and time frames for completion. Instead of entering a classroom where the goal has already been set to finish 80% of the math book by the end of the year, my children can take it upon themselves to move through their mathematics studies at a more progressive speed so that they can move onto an advanced science course earlier than otherwise possible. This type of self-direction and goal setting is imperative for children in their academics.
The thesis paper specifically examined the effects of having students in grade 5 set goals to help improve their writing skills. Once the children were given opportunities for self-direction, dramatic improvements were noted. The literature review also revealed what many parents probably already know: when children have a vested interest in the outcome, they are more motivated and willing to do the work to achieve the end result. Children who learn to set goals develop their self-confidence and increase their abilities to independently find success.
How can I help my child learn how to set and achieve goals?
- Start when your kids are young and keep it simple. Even explaining to a 3-year-old that the goal for the morning is to get dressed, eat breakfast, and drive to the library helps to establish the word goal into the vocabulary with easy to reach measurements.
- Set good examples by sharing with your children your own personal goals, how you are reaching for them, and what sometimes gets in your way. Last year my husband set a goal to enter his first race, and soon he had my son on board to share that same goal. They trained together, raced together, and are continuing to train for their next events. Sharing in the struggles and triumphs is a wonderful way to help kids achieve their own goals.
- Define the difference between long-term and short-term goals for your kids. Let them know you don’t expect them to decide on their career today, but that a long-term goal might be owning you own business someday, and a short-term goal might be finishing that science project by Friday.
- Demonstrate how to set mini goals and encourage your kids to do the same. Instead of asking them what they want to be in 30 years, make small daily and weekly goals. Finishing a building creation, biking 3 miles a day, or even reading 30 minutes every morning are reasonable goals. Achievable goals help set kids up for success and make it more likely that they will accept new challenges and make new goals.
- Don’t allow a pattern of quitting to exist within your child. If your child makes a commitment to a project, encourage them to see it through to completion, even if it isn’t the journey either of you expected. Allowing kids to quit whenever the going gets tough just reinforces to them that you didn’t have faith in them to get the job done.
- Help your kids reach their goals by regularly checking in with them on the progress and offering tools that might help them reach their goals. Make sure you also teach them how to define steps within the process that will help them succeed.
- Help your kids to recognize the value of internal rewards for goal completions. If you offer a toy or money for each goal reached it takes away the value of the task. Children should be encouraged to acknowledge pride in their efforts, and as parents we can affirm for them the strengths it took them to achieve their goals.
Article source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/BetterParenting/~3/MRvDXiYxIj4/