3 Organization Secrets for WAHMs

Tags: tips for work-at-home moms, WAHM, work-at-home mom

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Work-at-home-moms require a special, super-hero-like talent: organization beyond belief. If you are considering working from home there is one thing that surpasses almost any other aspect in order for you to become a successful WAHM. If you are already undertaking this adventure, you know that organization is essential for accomplishing a smidgeon of what you hope to each day. The past several years have taught me many lessons in the value of organization as a mom who works at home – and I’m still learning.

Organization Tip #1 – Use a “Doesn’t Belong Basket”

Working at home for the average mom doesn’t mean you get your own corner office with private cleaning service. If your home office is like mine, it is near the general hub of the family and not immune to the invasion of little feet (and all they bring into the room). Maybe it is even just your kitchen table or a desk in the living room. Whichever location you call your office, keep a “Doesn’t Belong Basket” nearby. Mine is routinely filled with LEGOs, hair barrettes, collector cards, and random toys they kids bring to share with me as I work, or they dribble along my workspace when they want a turn on my computer.

• Take a wicker basket (I usually get mine at flea markets or thrift stores) about the size of a shoebox and place it in a convenient location.
• Each time your find a treasure left behind from your children, toss it into the basket. Honestly, it is not worth calling my children to my desk each time I find a yo-yo or GoGo near my feet.
• At the end of the day, take the basket and have the kids sort through and claim their items.
• I also keep another basket in the kitchen for random items I find throughout the day that just don’t belong. It saves time and energy, and keeps the house and my office looking a tad bit clearner.

Organization Tip #2 – Make a Daily List and Check it Twice (at least)

Each day for work-at-home-moms can have a different routine, depending on the schedule of the kids and the household needs, as well as your actual workload. In order to keep track of you immense and various responsibilities, keep two separate lists, one for work-related items and one for “domestic engineer” duties (everything else on your plate as mom). You can keep a paper or electronic version.

• Start your day with your two lists and prioritize what has to get done that day in each list.
• As you move throughout your day, check back on your lists to make sure you are completing what you must.
• Add items as they arise – I usually keep a notepad with me throughout the day for my random notes to myself. It might seem like overkill, but it saves my sanity to know at least the paper and pen are accountable.
• After you tuck the kids into bed, do a quick check of the lists while your brain still has 30 seconds left of energy. Put stars or marks by the items that need to move onto the list for the next day.
• Rinse and repeat.

Organization Tip #3 – Follow the Rule of Three

Good things come in three, and organization is no exception. Life as a WAHM means you have to be able to prioritize – clients have expectations, the laundry needs to be done, and the kids need your attention. Organize your workspace with 3-tier systems. I use these for both my computer and my actual desk.

I use three plastic bins on my desk. One is for immediate – get-it-done-that-day work items. These might be invoices that need to be addressed or letters that need responses. Another is for items that I need to address that week at a more relaxed pace. The third bin is for items I know I need, but that can wait until I have the time.

• Make sure that you don’t go more than 2 weeks before you sort your least important bin – or whenever you fill it.
• Use an email program with colored flags or other virtual markers. I can mark client requests with red, invoices and receipts with blue, and prospective projects with green.
• Create three work folders with similar premises as the desktop bins, based on priorities. You can dump emails into these, notes in Word, or other files.

Life as a work-at-home-mom is a wonderfully complex and rewarding way of doing business. I get to be hands-on mom with my children, even homeschooling them, and I also get to pursue my passions and interests through work (not to mention bringing in a contribution to the family budget). Keep your life as a WAHM running smoother with these final organization tips:

• De-clutter every Friday – Monday will start out better if you do.
• Create comfort – I have place for my coffee, a radio, and a great view out the window from my desk.
• Invest in paper shredder, a good chair, and a comfortable keyboard.

How do you stay organized as a WAHM?

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Praise can be a powerful thing, and so can telling it like it is. David McCullough Jr., a high school teacher and son of Pulitzer Prize winner David McCullough, recently made headlines for his commencement address to the students of Wellesley High School. His message? You’re not special. While the sound of that might sound extremely harsh and unwarranted, especially given the setting, he eloquently and humorously made the case for the argument that kids are in general overprotected, underachieving, and – average.

McCullough Jr. extends such commencement advice as:

“You are not special. You are not exceptional. Contrary to what your U9 soccer trophy suggests, your glowing seventh grade report card, despite every assurance of a certain corpulent purple dinosaur, that nice Mister Rogers and you bay Aunty Sylvia, no matter how often your maternal caped crusader has swooped in to save you… you’re nothing special.”

Those words might be uncomfortable to hear (I admit my maternal cape started to ruffle itself a bit). But it is also obvious that McCullough wanted to get the attention of these kids – these graduating adults who are entering the real world. He goes on to condemn their childhoods as, “pampered, cosseted, doted upon, helmeted,” and “bubble wrapped.” McCullough doesn’t do this to slam or simply rag on the kids and damper their futures – he does this because it really is the truth. Children are catered to and hand-held, and then we suddenly spring them forth unto the world.

“Across the country no fewer than 3.2 million seniors are graduating about now from more than 37,000 high schools. That’s 37,000 valedictorians… 37,000 class presidents… 92,000 harmonizing altos… 340,000 swaggering jocks…”

These numbers that outline just how humbling and average high school graduation is also serve to remind us as parents about our roles in preparing our children for life beyond school. He goes on to say:

“I also hope you’ve learned enough to recognize how little you know… how little know now… at the moment… for today is just the beginning.” And he cheers for them to live, experience, and embrace life and all that it offers. It is in the effort.

The Differences Between Praise for Effort and Intelligence

Could it be that McCullough knows what the research says about the small, yet significant difference between praising our children for their intelligence as compared to praising them for their efforts? He didn’t tell them they were all wonderfully capable and extraordinary people – he told them they needed to go now and put forth effort.

Vast volumes of research, both scientific studies and literature reviews, have come to the conclusion that praising children by telling them they are “intelligent” actually has negative effects.

• Emphasizing to children that they are smart makes them feel that this is a natural characteristic much like eye color or shoe size. Children aren’t given any tools for responding to failure if they are simply told, “You are so smart!” by well-meaning adults.
• Children who are consistently told they are intelligent also tend to put out less effort. In fact, displaying effort might indicate that there is a lack of natural ability, and children learn a backwards lesson that putting forth effort means you aren’t capable enough.
• One interesting study by psychologist Wulf-Uwe Meyer showed that by age 12, children feel that when teachers praise them it is actually a signal that the teacher lacks confidence in their ability and they need more encouragement.
• In contrast, when children are praised for their efforts, studies show that they will continually strive for more. They try harder on future applications and expend more energy, especially when the praise is specific and direct.
• Praise by emphasizing effort gives children something they can control and perhaps just the right motivation to keep trying.

While there were critics of McCullough’s speech, that it was too harsh and demeaning, he really did deliver a targeted message on the power of effort. He concluded his speech by encouraging the graduates to

“Climb it [the mountain] so you can see the world, not so the world can see you. Exercise free will and creative, independent thought not for the satisfaction they will bring you, but for the good they will do others, the rest of the 6.8 billion – and those who will follow them. And then you too will discover the great and curious truth of the human experience is that selflessness is the best thing you can do for yourself. The sweetest joys of life, then, come only with the recognition that you’re not special. Because everyone one is. Make for yourselves, please, for your sake and for ours, extraordinary lives.”

We need to teach our children as McCullough encourages, to not think of themselves as inherently capable and “all that”, but as work in progress, and work requires effort. If we stop at telling our children that they are amazing and wonderful, they won’t know how to handle roadblocks and challenges that make them feel less than expertly capable. They won’t know how to climb those mountains.

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From Special Awards to Father’s Day Poems and Quotes

Father’s Day is one day – but help create memories with your kids and their father that will last a lifetime.

1. Let the kids decorate an outdoor palace fit for a king.

Take Dad’s favorite lawn chair or recliner (or maybe this is the perfect excuse to get the one he’s always wanted), and let the kids decorate it with streamers, balloons, and any other craft supply they think adds royal flair. Then have them create a crown and a scepter for Dad to wear and use on his special day. The kids can even dress up like his royal court.

2. Have a block party for all of the great dads in your child’s life.

Invite all of the dads and their families to a potluck picnic in the backyard, and hand out awards to the fathers. These could be certificates, trophies from the dollar store, or prizes of candy, small tools like screwdrivers or tape measures, or anything else you gather. Other moms and kids could bring prizes to contribute as well. Prize titles could be given for things like:

• Best Bike Tire Repairman
• Most Likely to Burn Dinner
• King of the BBQ
• Best Backyard Baseball Umpire
• Silliest (or Corniest) Joke Teller

3. Have kids write an acrostic poem for Dad.

This is where you write the main word vertically, and then each letter is the first letter of the first word of a line. Younger kids could use the word DAD, while older ones could go with FATHER or even HAPPY FATHER’S DAY. You can even use a simple format like this one.

4. Create a one-of-a-kind apron for the special chef at your house.

If you have younger kids, help them create a handprint BBQ apron for Dad, using fabric paint and a plain canvas apron from the craft store. Prewash and dry the apron, and then take turns with one child at a time to stamp handprints on the front. Package the gift with Dad’s favorite meat for the grill and a set of new grill tools.

5. Send Dad somewhere special, in a special way.

Sometimes Father’s Day is a great opportunity to send Dad off on his own to do his own, special activity. Maybe this is giving him kayaking lessons, setting him up with a golf tee time, or just having him take a solo bike ride without the dog and the baby carrier attached to the back of the bike. You can still get the kids involved, however, by having them plan a Send-Off-Parade or Bon Voyage Party, where they make a homemade ticket or passport to the activity, throw confetti, and sing and march across the yard. You could even have the kids surprise him by having them play a game with him and when he wins, give him the ticket like he just won a prize on a major game show.

6. Use an online site like Zazzle to create a personalized gift.

Is there something he always says? A comeback the kids always say to him? Make a personalized shirt, coffee mug, or other item at Zazzle. One year my kids made their dad a shirt emblazoned with number 87 – his answer for any question that involves a number. How many more minutes until we get there? 87. How many cookies can I have? 87.

7. Make a DVD and have movie night.

Take pictures and short videos of Dad with his kids and family and use a software program like Pinnacle Studio to create your own DVD for him. Add some songs, either classics or his random favorites from the ‘80s. I made one for my husband that began with pictures of me pregnant, moving through ones of him snuggling babies to ones with him playing baseball in the backyard with the kids. I added songs like “We Are Family”, and silly captions along the way, then surprised him with an invitation for a movie night with popcorn and snacks.

8. Create a unique keepsake card.

Make a list of favorite Words of Wisdom by Dad on the back side of a roll of wallpaper (visit your local home improvement store for ones they are ready to recycle). Use a permanent marker and record with your kids all of the things Dad says – he’s bound to have some classics. Fill in with some quotes about fathers, like the ones listed below. Kids can also decorate by drawing pictures or adding stickers. Re-roll and tie with a tie (you can even get an inexpensive one at the thrift store).

• He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
• My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, “You’re tearing up the grass.” “We’re not raising grass,” Dad would reply. “We’re raising boys.” ~Harmon Killebrew
• Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
• A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
• When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O’Toole!)
• Dad, you’re someone to look up to no matter how tall I’ve grown. ~Author Unknown
• The greatest gift I ever had
  Came from God; I call him Dad!
  ~Author Unknown
• Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
• Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
• I don’t care how poor a man is; if he has family, he’s rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
• Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
• Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher’s mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968

(Thanks to Quote Garden for some of the quotes used above.)

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Boys and girls are different – let’s get over it and help them find ways to learn to the best of their genetic and environmental differences. Yesterday I wrote a bit about the intriguing book, Boys and Girls Learn Differently, by Michael Gurian, and highlighted some of these typical gender differences. While not all boys and girls fall into gender typecasting, there is enough scientific and practical data to show that the sooner we recognize the propensity for gender differences, the sooner we can embrace them and help both genders learn and thrive.

Gurian writes of ways to create the ultimate classroom, where children are treated as individuals and their genetic predispositions are recognized. It doesn’t mean that we need to further develop stereotypes, but there are some practical ways we can address typical gender differences in order to help children develop to their fullest potentials.

Embrace Aggression

What? Yes – aggression, when differentiated from violence – is one of the most talked about issues that teachers face, especially with their male students. Statistics show that male students make up 80-90% of discipline problems, and many of these are the results of aggression. Gurian coins the phrase “aggression nurturance” – acknowledging aggression activities that include:

• Physical touch
• Competitive games
• Aggressive non-verbal gestures

Remember – we aren’t talking about aggression in terms of violence. Think about some typical boys you know, perhaps your sons. Are they more likely to nudge shoulders or have consistent eye contact with their buddies? Boys often use aggression in a nurturing way. They use it for bonding, building strength, increasing focus, and raising attentiveness. In our house it is the double-bro-back-tap, knuckles, and thumb wrestling that help the boys communicate with each other – and me. Yes, I too have learned the art of the back-tap, and recognize when the guys need room to move.

Imagine the difference in our classrooms and homes if we learned to mentor aggression, turning it into something valuable, such as services to others (physical work done for those in need). Some ways to incorporate aggression nurturance include:

• Using games that require physical space and touch
• Spending adequate time outside in learning activities
• Allowing for physical bonding, such as high fives, fist bumps, and even hugs (even though some schools don’t even allow this anymore, it does not help solve long-term behavioral issues)

While many parents of boys can probably relate to the aggression issues and accept that nurturing those natural tendencies can be effective, it is important not to dismiss similar needs in some girls. In fact, encouraging stronger physical play and outdoor exploration can help girls nurture that often overlooked side and help develop their confidence in physical skills. Giels should be provided with encouragement to express themselves physically, through sports, competition, and nurturing touch.

Embrace Empathy

Girls are sometimes automatically viewed as the more empathetic gender, but this is not as black and white as it may seem. It is true that girls tend to verbalize emotions more easily than boys, but it doesn’t mean that boys don’t feel empathy – they sometimes just don’t know how to show it. In fact, sometimes girls understand emotions so well that they become adept at manipulating them and using emotions in bullying. We need to raise the emotional IQ of our children, among both the boys and the girls.

• Attach words to actions. “It would make me feel frustrated and ignored if I always got picked last for the team. How do you think it makes Bill feel?”
• Role play and act out scenarios where kids get a chance to think about reactions and emotions without having real consequences before them.
• Keep talking to the boys about emotions, even if they seem to shy away from those conversations.
• Keep girls accountable for respecting the emotions of others.

More Ideas for Better Classrooms

There is no one magical answer for creating our own ultimate classrooms. Many factors, including gender, influence the environments, so we need to consider multiple options for improving educational settings for our children. Not all ideas work in all communities among all ages groups, but there are definitely some that are food for academic thought.

Consider school year round. Summer vacation used to fulfill the need of parents to have children helping at home during this time, and parents were not both working outside of the home at the rates today’s families are. Continuing education at varied pace throughout the year can reduce the breaking of attachments to school staff, friends, and expectations for learning.

Consider multigenerational classrooms, much like Montessori methods. Research shows that children learn infinite amounts from peers who are older and younger. Teachers also benefit from the extra support that older students provide.

Employ teaching teams where teachers have at least one other partner in the classroom. Sometimes there is honestly just not a great bond between certain students and teachers. Using teaching teams would increase the likelihood that students could develop positive relationships with at least one teacher.

Use mentorship programs. Studies show that children who have positive role models are more likely to succeed.

You’ll notice that these ideas are not along the same path – they use different techniques and tactics. That is because by in large, boys and girls are different. When we recognize their differences and work with them instead of against them, those differences can be balanced and beautiful.

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In reality, that is an unfair question. Boys and girls can’t really be compared as being smarter than the other gender, simply because they are different. Science has proven repeatedly that girls and boys demonstrate different propensities for aptitudes, learning styles, and emotional skills. Through the evolution of humans (and in my personal belief – divine planning), male and female brains are wired differently. We have hunters and gatherers – provider and nurturers. As parents, community members, and educators, we can help our children reach their potentials if we stop trying to make everyone the same and embrace, understand, and work with the differences.

Let’s get it out of the way. I’m not proposing anything near the idea that girls can’t do the same things that boys can do, or that all children follow gender stereotypes. That thought goes completely against my endeavor in life to make sure all of my kids, the boys and my daughter, feel empowered to chase their dreams. And as someone who was the only girl on the city’s baseball team as a child because there wasn’t a youth league for girls, I know all about gender biases. However, girls and boys are different, and this fact shines through in their learning styles and motivations.

What Are the Differences Between Boys and Girls?

An interesting book on the subject, Boys and Girls Learn Differently!, by Michael Gurian, thoroughly discusses the differences between boys and girls when it comes to things that influence their learning styles, and ultimately, their classroom or academic successes and failures. The following differences are not hard and fast rules for every child, but scientifically proven trends in the developmental nuances that often distinguish male and female brains.

The Boys

• They tend to thrive on deductive reasoning, forming a general perspective faster than girls, which scientists say is why boys seem to perform better on timed multiple choice tests.
• They are more adept at abstract reasoning, and can grasp mathematical concepts through blackboard teachings more easily than girls.
• Our guys tend to be silent learners, and prefer to communicate with jargon and coded languages – short, sweet, and to the point.
• Boys hear less than girls, and want evidence to support what it is that they hear.
• They get bored more easily because they require more stimulants, and boredom leads to misbehaviors.
• Boys need more physical space in which to learn.
• Movement helps to stimulate their brain, so they are more likely to learn if they can move (even if it is what we refer to as fidget).
• They follow a pecking order in social and group learning situations.
• The boys tend to like symbols, diagrams, and decoding.
• They prefer structured teams with clear leaders and roles.

The Girls

• They are more likely to pursue inductive reasoning that adds to their overall knowledge base and helps them conceptualize main ideas.
• Girls are more likely to prefer concrete reasoning, and do better if they can use more of their senses in learning – so they might lean more towards math manipulative pieces.
• They use words as they learn, and continue to communicate with detailed language.
• Girls are better listeners. Their language processing allows them to be more receptive to details, and they prefer conversations that flow, even if there isn’t empirical evidence to support something.
• They are better at self-managing boredom, and are therefore often perceived as better behaved than boys.
• They don’t need as much physical space when learning as compared with boys.
• Girls don’t need to move as much while learning – again – often leaving them perceived as better behaved.
• They prefer cooperative learning that involves high levels of social interaction, and they aren’t as concerned with structure of the group.
• Girls prefer written language as compared to symbols and codes, and they look for the emotions behind the words.

What Do the Differences Between Boys and Girls Mean in the Classroom?

If you read these lists of typical characteristics, there were probably some that made you nod your head as you recognized them right away for yourself, your spouse, or your children. In order to create what Gurian refers to as the ultimate classroom, where boys and girls are both able to learn to the best of their natural abilities as well as learn to develop those hidden talents, parents and educators need to work together to create new models of teaching.

Gurian describes how gender influences learning styles and that our brains naturally tend to put our best performances forward, and tend to almost hide those learning styles that might not seem as natural.

“The concealment is not conscious; it is simply that the brain puts forth into the world what it feels best at, leaving undeveloped (unless the brain is significantly aided) what is does not naturally feel as good at showing the world.”

So, instead of punishing boys for naturally being boys who are louder, wiggle-worms, and spatially stimulated, and assuming girls will do all of the talking and more effectively communicate emotions, there are things we can do to help our children develop their hidden skills. Join me tomorrow as I give some practical, and a few unconventional, ideas for helping boys and girls learn to use their gender-based gifts to develop their whole selves.

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Is My Child Ready for Summer Camp?

Tags: day camp, kids and camp, slee-away camp, Sleepovers, summer camp

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Summer camp for kids – it’s not just roasting marshmallows and singing songs around the fire – and not every camp experience is right for every child. From day camps to sleepover camps, kids have more choices in camp experiences than weeks of summer vacation. However, you might be wondering: Is my child really ready for summer camp? 

Begin with day camps.

You can usually find these through community education programs and summer vacation Bible school camps. These are often theme based, minimally priced, and run for a few hours each day for a week or so. Vacation Bible School (commonly referred to across the country as VBS) was our children’s first foray into the “camp” experience. If you or your little one is hesitant about the idea of camp, look for these mini-camps that have certain characteristics.

• You can remain on site and volunteer as an adult helper. Sometimes this will even get you a reduced rate on camp fees.
• The hours of the camp work well with your child’s natural schedule. If you have a preschooler who naps in the afternoon, look for camps with morning-only hours.
• Check for small ratios of adult leaders to kids. When groups get too large, it can be easy for your child to feel lost in the shuffle.

Make sure sleepover camp is the right choice.

Ask you and your child if sleep-away or sleepover camp is the right choice. Some kids love the adventure and have independent mindsets that help them do well at sleep-away camps, while others are more prone to become homesick, feel isolated, or simply not enjoy the constant camp life for days on end. Ask some basic questions before signing up your child for sleepover camp.

• Who is most interested in sleep-away camp – me or my child? (Some parents look for sleep-away camps for their own daycare support or because they have fond memories of their own camp experiences – but beware if these are your reasons.)
• Has my child been on sleepovers before without getting homesick?
• Will my child be able to contact me if and when she wants? (We bought our daughter her first cell phone just for this purpose.)
• Is there a friend or cousin with whom my child can attend camp?
• Does the camp have a mentorship program where adults check in with each child individually to make sure that he or she is feeling at ease?
• What are the sleeping arrangements? (Kids who fear the dark or are uncomfortable sharing a room with new kids might find certain sleep-away camps less enticing.)
• What are the discipline policies of the camp? (When kids do sleepover camps they can sometimes get fewer hours of sleep than needed and be more prone to behavior problems.)
• Does my child like to be consistently busy? (Kids who thrive on quiet, alone-time each day might struggle more with sleep-away camp.)
• Are background checks performed on camp employees and volunteers?

If there is a question you want to ask the camp organization – don’t hesitate to do so. Going into the camp experience with preparation, for both you and your child, will help ensure a better camp experience. You can even take this little quiz if you’re still doubting your decision (but if you’re doubting it that much, maybe you need to wait for next year to pack the sleeping bags for your kids).

Find a summer camp that interests your child.

Just because you loved creaky bunk beds and canoeing at your own childhood camp doesn’t mean that your child has the same desires. There are camps for almost every interest in communities across the country. Our daughter attended a business camp for young entrepreneurs when she was just 12 years old. It was based at a local college where the campers stayed in the dorms and the kids worked in the community throughout the week on business projects that culminated in their business teams presenting products for sale at a baseball game.

Save money on summer camps.

Camps for kids can be extremely expensive, but your child can still have a great summer camp experience without draining your bank account. The following sites have some great tips for saving money on summer camp experiences for kids, such as sibling discounts and saving money on camp supplies.

Mommy’s Memorandum

Stanford Work Life Office

AOL on Parenting

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Tips for Summer Savings

Tags: money saving tips, save money, stay-at-home mom, tips for stay-at-home moms, tips for work-at-home moms, work-at-home mom

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Kids crave and devour the freedom and fun of summer, but parents sometimes grimace at the extra expenses summer brings. If you are a stay-at-home mom or work-at-home mom you might notice a sharp rise in expenses now that the kids are exploring all of their summertime options. You can still create wonderful summer memories with your kids without breaking your budget by taking a few frugal shortcuts.

Frugal Food Savings

I hear from many families that their grocery bills skyrocket in the summer now that the kids are home and hungry (for me as a homeschool mom, this is typical territory!). There are a few simple and efficient ways to keep your grocery budget from eating away at your savings.

Avoid prepackaged snacks that are in individual portions – those single bags of chips, crackers, and yogurt might seem easy to grab, but they really take a chunk out of your pocket as you spend just as much on packaging as you do on the actual food product. This summer buy an inexpensive set of plastic storage containers and snack sized zipper seal bags and create your own single servings. I buy natural applesauce and spoon it into mini cups for fruit in the go (just keep it refrigerated). You can package your own yogurt, crackers, cereal, dried fruit, cheese, or practically any other snack your kids are craving.

Make your own specialty drinks. We all crave more beverages during the hot summer, but don’t get sucked into spending extra on bottles of drinks for you and the kids.

• Brew your own iced tea with tea bags, honey, and slices of lemon. The kids like to think they are “cooking” outside as the tea brews in the sun.
• Make iced coffee for your own afternoon treat when the kids are running through the sprinkler. I make a pot of coffee, turn off the pot as soon as it has percolated, then poor over ice and keep in the fridge. When I’m ready for a glass I just poor over crushed ice and add a liquid coffee flavor (my favorites are peppermint or caramel).
• Make yogurt smoothies (on hot days these are also my kids’ lunch favorites). Take a 16 oz. container of fat free vanilla yogurt, add a cup of milk, and your favorite fruits. Blend and serve with a fun summer straw (makes about 5 servings).

Pack it in a picnic basket. Even if you don’t dine further than the backyard, a PBJ is suddenly a wonderful entrée when pulled from the hampers of an old fashioned picnic basket, especially atop a checkered cloth.

Frugal Field Trips

We don’t usually take a huge family vacation during the summer, but instead do lots of short, stay-cation type of days between baseball tournaments and 4-H events. We also don’t spend a fortune on these activities (but still have the time of our lives).

• Check out your local library for free summer reading program activities – we have the zoomobile, magicians, and great acts that come a few times a week to perform for the kids – all free of charge.
• Visit living history sites. Many of these are free or inexpensive, take advantage of beautiful outdoor weather, and teach the kids something in the process (but shhh, don’t tell them that!).
• Head to the movie theatre. Local theatres often offer inexpensive summer movie showings one day each week just for kids.
• Request a tourist packet from your own state and city. These often come with great coupons on local attractions, and you might even learn a thing or two about your own backyard.
• Try bowling on a hot day. Our local bowling alley offers 99 cent bowling before 4:00 p.m. during the weekdays.
• Look at family passes to the zoo or your state history center. For me with 4 children, I pay for my family pass by just attending our local zoo one time. Then the rest of the summer I can yell “Road trip!” and head 1.5 hours to the zoo for an afternoon of hiking the trails and watching the creatures.

More Frugal Fun

• Have a board game day. Our son is heading to a friend’s house this week for a marathon of Risk with a group of guys. Take turns with other parents hosting a game day each week or month, and everyone can chip in for snacks.
• Use Groupon and Living Social. These are must-use sites for me when it comes to saving money on activities with the kids. The offers pertain to my zip code so they are relevant, and the deals can really add up in a hurry. I buy things like party packages to the local entertainment complex, then split the overall cost with other parents and we have a fun day for our kids for only about $2/child.
• Visit Barnes Nobel to sign your kids up for their summer reading program with great prizes.
• Visit your local hardware store for kids’ classes. Home Depot has workshops just for kids where they learn to build things like birdhouses, and the materials are usually free.
• Check out DVDs from your local library. My kids like to select one or two of those and a book on CD for those boiling days when we are ready to crash from the heat.

If you have great ways to save during the summer without cutting out the fun in the sun, I’d love to hear from you!

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Just because schools are continuing to reduce art class offerings because of budget and resource constraints doesn’t mean the value of art has decreased for our children. According to Americans for the Arts, research shows that exposure to the arts has multiple benefits for children and communities.

• Students who receive 4 years of art in high school score an average of 100 points higher on their SAT when compared to students who receive ½ a year of art classes or less.
• Children who are exposed to the arts and have opportunities to explore them have lower drop-out rates for school and higher GPAs.
• Art education helps to create a stronger workforce. Creativity is ranked among the top 5 applied skills that employers and leaders in business search for in applicants – 72% say it is of high importance.
• Exposure to the arts can build bridges between cultures, regardless of gender, age, or ethnicity.

If your child attends a school that doesn’t offer a rigorous art program, or if your child seems to be reluctant to explore the arts, there are some easy and effective ways to bring art into your home and the life of your child.

1. Expand your definition of art. If you or your child is intimidated by art, remember that art comes in many forms and doesn’t require that your child be the next Rembrandt. Besides the basics you might think of as art, such as painting, drawing, and sculpting, art includes

• Music
• Photography
• Oration
• Public performances such as acting
• Puppetry
• Yard and nature art
• Jewelry
• Clothing designs
• Metal-works and welding
• Writing
• Much more!

2. Create low pressure situations with high opportunities for success. If you sign up for community or private art classes, make sure they are age and attention-span appropriate, and start small.

3. Take classes with your child, and let your child decide which ones. Don’t expect your son to love the pottery class you do, but be willing to enthusiastically attend the digital photography course with him.

4. Introduce your child to art mentors – people who are masters at their crafts and excited to share their experiences with children. My daughter took a nature photography class from a local photographer, and attended with her aunt who could share her interest and passion.

5. Watch YouTube with your kids. People put a surprising amount of valuable art-related lessons online in order for others to learn. It is how I learned to make corsages and boutonnieres for my daughter’s spring formal, and how she learned to make headbands out of recycled materials. If you can dream it, you can find a free video online that will give you tips.

6. Take your kids to the library and explore the craft book section. One of my sons loves to check out random books that have everything from nature crafts to art with machines, and they have wonderful selections with instructions easy enough for the kids.

7. Find an art crawl and take the kids for a road trip. We’ve done this, driving along to different stops on a mapped route where we got to meet artists in their environments, including a woodworker, inker, painter, photographer, sculptor, and many more amazingly talented individuals.

8. Experience art with your kids by taking them to the theatre and concerts. There are programs specifically designed for even the youngest audience members and there are often educator discounts that parents can obtain for special days designated for education. See if you can get a backstage pass – the arts in theatre and music couldn’t happen without the backstage crew.

9. Organize a neighborhood art show or have your kids put one together with their friends. It can be a neighborhood block party that brings families together and helps encourage various forms of art.

10. Keep an art box ready for whenever the mood strikes (or in our home what we refer to as the “craft closet”). Even a plastic dishpan can hold a great amount of supplies. Include things like

• Beads
• String, yarn, embroidery thread, laces, and more
• Tape of all stickiness and kinds (double stick tape is a favorite)
• Craft sticks
• Paint
• Cardboard scraps
• A recipe box for homemade clay and paint recipes
• Buttons (I keep all of those ‘extra’ buttons that are attached to new shirts)
• Odds and ends like rubber bands, packaging materials, and anything your children might find appealing

When you introduce your children to opportunities with art, their minds can stretch and grow in ways you might never imagine. Not only does it help prepare them academically, but you just might be opening a door to a hobby your children will treasure for years to come, or even a future career path.

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“…you’re either part of the solution or you’re part of the problem.” Eldridge Cleaver spoke these words in 1968, and while he wasn’t precisely referring to parents, his words are still true. If we are not doing more for our children, if we are just waiting for the schools to churn out successful children, we are not doing enough. Not even close.

Education Failures Beyond the Classroom

In a book by Laurence Steinberg the evidence clearly shows that parents and communities need to do more. Beyond the Classroom is an examination of “why school reform has failed and what parents need to do” in order for us to raise confident, capable, and contributing children. The blame often gets placed on school districts and teachers, and while there is mounting evidence that many districts are not balancing their goals with their finances and priorities, this is just one small piece of the messed up education puzzle in America.

What Does the Research Say about Failures in Education?

Ten years of study and more than 20,000 respondents surveyed has culminated in a collaborative effort of three universities and research teams that have given a comprehensive look at what makes students fail or succeed. The results, presented in journal after journal and summarized in Beyond the Classroom, clearly show that while schools might give failing letter grades, the failures go far beyond the doors of the classroom.

• Less than 15% of students spend 5 hours a week reading for pleasure.
• In contrast, 1/3 of students spend 5 hours a week “partying”.
• More than ½ of students surveyed said they could get a “C” on their report card without their parents reacting, and ¼ of students said a “D” would be unnoticed.
• More than 33% of students said their parents have no clue how they’re doing in school.
• Only 20% of parents consistently attend school programs, and more than 40% of parents never attend.

These numbers aren’t coming just from students living in poor neighborhoods with even poorer school districts. The respondents are a reflection of a diverse group of socioeconomic backgrounds from all over the country.

The research presented by Steinberg and his colleagues clearly shows that American students are rarely spending time out of school on activities that actually help to reinforce the experiences they are having in school. In fact, the experiences outside of school are almost in opposition to those within, as if the children and their families are fleeing from the confines of education, instead of finding ways to embrace it.

Two Types of Students

Steinberg classified two different types of students in his research, those who are filled with “engagement” and those who are disengaged from their education.

Engaged students

• Concentrate on the tasks before them
• Strive to do their best in the classroom and on homework
• Actively participate in classroom discussions
• Appear to genuinely care about their performance in school and the quality of work they contribute

Disengaged students

• Are easily distracted
• Do not put forth much classroom effort
• Spend little energy on assignments and homework
• Have a “cavalier” attitude about school and the future, and are just going through the motions of the day

How Can Parents Help Their Children Succeed?

Steinberg makes a strong case for the largely unexamined importance of the lives of children outside of school and how those hours spent greatly impact the time inside the classroom. While I don’t embrace all of Steinberg’s assertions about students, I do agree with his emphasis on the balance needed between schools and family when it comes to education. Schools can’t do it all, and if we don’t send motivated, engaged children into the classroom, we can’t expect successful students to emerge.

Authoritative Parenting – the 1st Key to Academic Success

The research conducted by Steinberg and associates clearly shows a link between successful students and authoritative parents. Steinberg pinpoints three specific dimensions where parents can make the difference.

Acceptance versus rejection – Children who feel accepted have parents who are affectionate and involved in the lives of their children. These children feel they can turn to their parents for problems, for guidance, and just for companionship.

Firmness versus leniency – While parents sometimes feel more comfortable being lenient, parents with firm rules, clear expectations, and high standards are more likely to have children who understand consequences and are more capable of making good choices. Lenient parents are more likely to raise children who lack self-control and responsibility.

Autonomy versus control – Parents who encourage their children to explore their individuality, respect each other’s opinions, and allow for self-expression are more likely to raise children who are self-reliant, industrious, and competent.

The Home Environment – the 2^nd Key to Academic Success

There are several factors that contribute to a successful home environment.

• Children who work hard in school often come from homes where hard work is expected. This can be through chores, household responsibilities, and working together on community projects.
• Parents need to be actively involved in school so that they can transfer school activities to home activities that support each other. If your child is learning about famous artists, take your kids to museums, read books about art, and explore art classes together. These activities are mutually beneficial.
• Parents need to be actively aware of peer influences and work to diminish detrimental effects. The peer culture in America generally degrades academics.
• Fewer than 20% of teens say that their peers value good grades.
• Less than 25% of teens regularly discuss schoolwork with their friends.
• More than 33% of teens say they “get through” their school day primarily by “goofing off” with their friends.
• These numbers don’t mean we should ban teen friendships, but we do need to be active, positive influences. Know who your child’s friends are, monitor their activities together, and offer opportunities for teens that support their education and they can still do as a group of friends.

As a homeschool parent I am obviously not enamored with the ideas of public school, it doesn’t mean that I place all of the blame on the floundering education system in America. Our education methods are floundering because we aren’t doing enough as families and communities. We can’t expect to send our kids through the doors of school and have them churned out as successful students. We are raising our children. We need to make sure we are supporting their education, both inside the classroom and their lives beyond the school building.

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Is your son failing? That was the question I posed yesterday, and it is the question that author Richard Whitmire believes is answered all too frequently with a resounding “Yes!” by parents. He writes in his book, Why Boys Fail, about the reasons that our sons are failing as they flounder in an educational system that is not created and formulated for the male gender. While success isn’t just measured in academic performance, research has shown that when kids fail t0 thrive in school they become more likely to experiment with drugs, alcohol, and dangerous and detrimental activities.

Understanding Why Boys Fail

The case Whitmire makes about the levels at which our sons are failing is compelling. In order to adequately help our boys succeed, it is important that we thoroughly understand why our sons are failing. Two of the main reasons why our boys do not find success in the American public school system include

1. Curriculum shifts in schools (ones that align more closely with typical female learning strengths)
2. Testing pressures that leave boys behind

How Can We Help Our Sons Succeed?

As the mother of 3 sons and 1 daughter I see firsthand the differences that genetics can play in the learning styles, motivations of, and energies of children. Whitmire also writes about the value of acknowledging these differences, and quotes children’s author Jon Scieszka about the fears that politicians and school officials have over recognizing these differences, especially when it comes to literacy.

“They need to start thinking of this the same way we went about doing something for girls with math and science. We just recognized that girls need to learn math and science in a different way. Why wouldn’t we do the same for boys?”

Whitmire makes several suggestions for ways we can help our sons succeed.

Implement research-based tutoring programs. Research shows that boys who have positive academic role models will do better in school. Programs like Book Buddies target the reading challenges of boys and pair them with mentors who help them overcome these.

Intensify literacy education, especially in the middle years. It seems there is such a huge push to get kids reading, that schools are failing to keep kids reading. If your son didn’t catch on in the early years, he is at risk for never catching up with his peers.

Make high school more relevant for students. Three cheers for this one! Schools have been finding that when they incorporate hands-on, vocational style classes, that their students are more engaged and motivated to succeed (this goes for the girls as well as the guys). Teaching real-world career academics, where students understand why they need to know what they are learning is gaining momentum, even showing up as more than 300 “career academies” across the country with intense learning programs with goal- and career-focused outcomes.

Consider single-gender classrooms. The jury is still out on the benefits versus the losses on this one, but some students do perform better in single-gender classes. Because boys and girls learn differently, the successes and failures of one gender or the other can make successful teaching coed classrooms more difficult. Perhaps the solution lies in certain classes being offered as gender-specific. My oldest attends a book club just for boys, and the positive atmosphere and results of such a class would definitely change if their teenage female counterparts entered the mix – that’s just how kids are.

Restructure community colleges. The pendulum has been swinging when it comes to male versus female enrollment in higher academia. Where men used to dominate schools of higher learning, women are now surging in numbers. Some community colleges are finding success in bringing in marketing that targets the male population, and programs that appeal to their needs. The goal isn’t to swing the pendulum back to a male-dominated population in college, but to strike a balance.

Experiment with reading programs throughout education, not just in the early elementary years. Educators and parents are noticing an increase in interest in reading among boys when it comes to good old fashioned comic books and new fashioned graphic novels. While it might not be Wuthering Heights, these reading selection are doing their jobs – getting boys reading.

Pay attention to the numbers. Schools need to assess their progress not only in race and socioeconomic categories, but along gender lines as well. It is OK – in fact necessary – to acknowledge that overall, boys and girls learn differently. Once we get over ourselves and the need to have everything the same, we can help our sons become their own unique successful selves.

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