How to Work at Home with Teenagers in the House
Working at home while parenting teens can be just as challenging for moms as working at home with toddlers. Someone recently told me that it must be easy for me to work from home now that all of my children are out of the preschool stage and can occupy themselves without constant supervision. I wish. Sometimes the teenagers in the house are more of the concern than the elementary age kids. Yes – there are certain things that are safer and easier to do while working at home as the older kids run through the house. I don’t need to stop to change diapers, I’m not concerned with waking the baby from a nap, and I can turn my back for more than 5 seconds (well – sometimes). Surviving as a work-at-home mom of teenagers still has its challenges, though, and some days those challenges might leave you longing for those days rocking infants in your arms while you work at the computer.
Survive Working At Home with Teenagers in the House
A door that can be closed – and explicit instruction for what that means. The kids are finally old enough to entertain themselves for a short amount of time and it is safe to close the door. A closed door signals that the person on the other side needs quiet concentration – preferably uninterrupted. If you regularly close your work space door, even when you’re not working in there, use a door hanger like those from a hotel to signal that, “Mom is working – do not disturb.” Make sure you only use this signal when you are actually working. You don’t want the kids to find out you use it to take naps or chat with girlfriends online!
Plan for the inevitable. If only it were that easy to close the door, though, right? A closed door is not the end to the range of interruptions you might have as a work-at-home mom. Teenagers have their own unique ideas about what constitutes emergencies, such as gaining permission to go out with a friend, finding the right football socks in the laundry, or which foods can be consumed by them and their friends that evening. The key is to be proactive and try to plan ahead for as many of these situations as you can. Give a run-down of available snacks and check in to make sure you know where everyone will be and with whom. Then allow for 1-2 acceptable interruptions that you know will just happen.
Be clear about what your job means – to them. Teenagers are still kids, and sometimes it is easiest to explain it in terms that will matter to them. If you work at home so that you can pay for them to do extra things like music lessons, make sure they understand the effort you are putting forth and their roles in the success of your work. Maybe you work just because you love it. Explain this to the kids, highlighting that everyone in the family has their opportunities for their passions. If your son loves to play football, promise him you won’t come running onto the field during a game to ask if he put his laundry away if he won’t run into your office every 3 minutes looking for his game charger.
Tips for the Tough Days as a Work-at-Home Mom
- Invest in military grade ear phones – seriously. I am wearing my brother’s pair from his days as a tank driver right now. They allow me just a few degrees lower on the outrageous decibel scale that kids can create.
- Make a trade. You get your two hours to work peacefully, and then you can drive them to where they need to be. It is completely reasonable that you have responsibilities for work and your kids need to respect those boundaries, especially if they are also looking for your time and energy.
- Instill the zone rule. Clearly define the spaces around your work space that need to remain noise free. You don’t need a stampede of kids running by your doorway or playing Guitar Hero on the other side of the wall.
- Give in. Not for the entire effort, but just for the moment. When you teenager comes in and doesn’t have an emergency, but just wants to talk, that is a moment that you have to suck up like a vacuum gone wild. Just like you didn’t want to miss those first words she spoke as a baby, you don’t want to miss out on what she might want to share as a teenager on the cusp of adulthood. Take a 10-20 minute break and soak it all in because you might not have the same opportunity next week. It is better to take that break and hear what she has to say than to escort her to the door. You’ll still wonder what she wanted to talk about and she’ll miss out on connecting with you, both of these things that can’t easily be replaced. In order to help separate the idea of work and family time, leave the work space to talk with her. This helps to more clearly define the difference between the two and you won’t be distracted by the workload before you.
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