Yesterday I wrote about the risk factors our kids face when it comes to substance abuse, and how drugs don’t care if our kids are on the honor roll or are star baseball players, and today I share some of the ways that parents can teach themselves about drug abuse and give their kids tools to stay safe. The wonderful side effect of parenting in a proactive and positive way is that when we give our kids skills to make good decisions, those tools often spill over into other areas of their lives.
Talking with our kids about drugs begins with a little “schooling” for parents about the kinds of drugs that pose risks for our kids. Some of them you will probably recognize, but others might surprise you.
Gateway Drugs
Gateway drugs are not only plaguing the children in our communities, but they are even easier to access than before. They are inexpensive and often right in our own homes, and unfortunately our kids sometimes think that if we can buy them at the grocery store, that they can’t be that bad. If you think there is no way your kids have access to things that are considered gateways drugs, look around your home and see if you have any of the following.
- Glue
- Aerosol cans of paint, hairspray, deodorant, or even whipping cream
- Paint thinner
- Prescriptions medications
- Cold medications
- Alcohol
- Nail polish remover
Kids are learning how about huffing (getting high from aerosol fumes) from online tutorials and friends, and they have instant access to recipes for “home-grown” highs at the family computer. These are for the most part legal substances that kids have learned how to use to get high, and they don’t cost much more than a can of soda. Huffing involves inhaling the chemical vapors, actually depriving the brain of oxygen. They can lose consciousness, coordination, and have strokes or cardiac arrest. Then why do they do it? The high it gives as it destroys brain cells gives them a “funny feeling” and often peer pressure and reactions contribute to this epidemic.
Kids also have increased access to prescription drugs, and some kids even have their own prescriptions for anything from antidepressants to painkillers. Statistics are clear that whether kids “borrow” pills from parents or grandparents or take more than the recommended amount of their own, that the effects can be devastating.
Street Drugs
It doesn’t have to be the plastic bag filled with white powder from the movie scene because street drugs are available worldwide, in all kinds of neighborhoods. Some street drugs are as inexpensive as a drive-thru meal. It really is important to know what kinds of drugs your kids might hear about, see, or unfortunately, be offered, at some point in their lives. If you don’t know what the drug is or does to the body, you can’t teach your kids about those dangers. Find some resources and learn more about what your kids face – below is just an eye-opening start.
- Marijuana (pot, refer, weed, grass, hashish, etc.) is most often smoked in joints, pipes (bowls), or through water pipes (bongs). The high gives users a false sense of happiness, but also comes with loss of coordination, memory problems, and generalized confusion.
- Cocaine (from the leaves of the coca plant) is one of the most addictive street drugs known. Its high stimulates the pleasure center of the brain, but this false sense of joy means that users can no longer find joy in things they once did. Maybe it is the football star who no longer cares about sports, or the student who doesn’t dream about college anymore, and it can cause heart attacks and seizures, even in children.
- Crack comes from cocaine that has been processed for smoking. It is dangerously and instantly addictive, making the user constantly seek out that high again.
- Methamphetamines are stimulants that include meth, speed, uppers, ice, and more. Kids most often use these for appetite suppressants and to feel energized. Meth highs can give kids who are under school and life pressures the feeling that they can accomplish anything, but what they really are getting is brain damage.
This list is far from complete, but it gives you an idea of some of the drugs that are available all too often. More importantly, kids need the tools that will help them lead lives where they won’t feel the need to turn to these drugs.
How do I talk with my child about drugs?
Like the other awkward conversations parents dread (or don’t think they need to have), talking with kids about substance abuse needs to be more than a “one-shot” deal. The conversations should be ongoing and involve both talking and listening by parents.
Communicate – If you haven’t already developed good communication skills with your child, the time is now to start. Keep your voice calm, your questions non-confrontational, and your judgments reserved.
Build Trust – When it comes to talking with kids about things like drugs, it is imperative that kids feel they can trust their parents. We can’t create that trust if we jump to conclusions or throw threats and punishments around. Yes – kids need to earn trust, but they can’t do that if we don’t give them opportunities to do so.
Know Their Lives – Understanding teens’ friends, school activities, and extracurricular functions is mandatory. Parents don’t need to be spying shadows, but they should know who their kids hang out with and where they go after school. To really know their lives, parents need to participate in the lives of their kids – as much as possible.
Be Real – Let kids know the true facts in non-accusatory ways. Teens often think their parents are clueless, but if you let them know that you know about the dangers of crank and ecstasy, they know that you’ve done your homework.
Use Opportunities – Watch television and movies with your kids or listen to their music, and you’re bound to hear about or see drug use portrayed. Talk about the scenes or the lyrics and create an open dialogue. If your child ever mentions a friend or someone from school in the context of drugs, don’t jump to conclusions and go over-protective-parent-ninja. Embrace the trust your teen has placed in you and calmly talk with them about the situation.
- Encourage sports or physical activity to reduce stress and provide positive outlets for energy.
- Be an active listener when kids are feeling stressed or frustrated.
- Don’t ignore pleas for help with bullying and other social issues and brush them off as “phases” – these can lead to depression, anxiety, and teens giving into peer pressure.
- Help kids find opportunities for safe and responsible fun – even if that means hosting teenage parties (I have survived these and you will, too!).
- Encourage hobbies for your kids for outlets for stress, anxiety, and a break from life stresses.
- Volunteer with your kids. Helping others who have gone through struggles is a great way to remind kids about values in their own lives.
- Keep your child up to date on health check-ups. Healthy kids are less likely to feel the need for drug use, and doctors can help monitor for things like weight loss and depression.
Parenting is not easy. Considering our children and drug use in the same breath is painful and uncomfortable. The alternatives, however, are so much worse. Take the time today to build healthy relationships with your kids.
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