Identity Theft and Your Kids

Tags: digital reputation, ID theft, identity theft, kids and ID theft, reputation management

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Is Someone Stealing Their Lives?

You agonize over baby names, hold their hands when they cross the street, and teach them all about stranger danger because they are your most precious gifts and you want to protect them. But do you worry about someone trying to steal their identities – even when they aren’t old enough to spell their names?

The scary reality is that our kids are 51 time more likely to be the victims of identity theft than adults.

Why Are Kids So Vulnerable to Identity Theft?

Think about how many times a week you check in online with your bank, use your debit card at the gas station, or even just open your mail. Whenever you do this, you are using your identity. Now think about your kids. They are born and you present them with that baby name you lovingly chose, the birth certificates are signed, and your children are assigned a social security card number. And then they spend the next years climbing, eating, learning, and growing – but beyond knowing their own name as we sing it to them in a bedtime song, our little ones don’t really have a regular need for their personal information.

They aren’t applying for mortgages, jobs, credit cards, or car loans. They use their identifying information so much less than we do that it leaves them vulnerable – they wouldn’t see a red flag on their bank account because they either don’t have bank accounts or aren’t yet worrying about balancing their checks. Even when they get older, that doesn’t remove some of the vulnerability – in fact – it can increase it.

Norton’s Online Family Report shows that:

• 63% of kids have responded to scams online – they don’t have the maturity to realize that “You just won $100,000, if only you give us your mom’s credit card number!” is not a legitimate offer.
• More kids than ever are shopping online, many with their parents’ permission.
• 77% of kids have download at least one virus – and some of these viruses exist to mine personal information from computers.
• More children than ever are using P2P (peer-to-peer) file sharing, where open connections exist between computers.
• 41% of kids have been approached by strangers online and asked for personal identifying information.

What Can I Do to Protect My Kids?

Parents aren’t completely helpless when it comes to protecting their children’s identities, but there is no one, easy answer. It requires diligence and commitment, and it begins when your kids are tiny tots and continues from there.

• If you open a banking, savings, or an investment account for your young child, monitor the account’s activities, even if it is held through and managed by an investment firm.
• Obtain a free credit report each year for your child just to make sure that there are no transactions listed for your child that shouldn’t be there. The earlier you find these errors and crimes, the less impact they will have on your child’s future.
• Don’t share personal identifying information online about your kids – birthdates, Social Security numbers, or other identifiers.
• Monitor your child’s internet activities and use anti-virus software.
• Teach your child to make secure passwords and login IDs and always keep your own record of these.
• Teach your kids about digital reputation management and the realities of stranger danger.
• If your child uses social media sites, uses Twitter, or is texting, make sure that you have detailed conversations about privacy and that you both understand and use the privacy control settings.
• Watch out for junk mail addressed to your kids – they shouldn’t be receiving those solicitations for colleges, loans, and credit cards before they are potty trained. If you see these offers coming in, it might be a sign that someone has forged your child’s age on an application or form. Check credit reports immediately if you suspect this has happened.

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Activities that Bring Gratitude to the Table

Tags: attitude of gratitude, gratitiude, holiday, printable, printables, thanksgiving

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Printable Activities to Put the “Thanks” in Thanksgiving

Great food, amazing family, and fun games – three keys to a Happy Thanksgiving for our family. Each year I anticipate Thanksgiving through the eyes of my children, and try to draw them in to the spirit of the holiday with an attitude of gratitude and an abundance of fun. For we know that once Thanksgiving is over, we are in a tumble, rumble, roll towards Christmas with our children. So put the brakes on for a bit and plan some fun and meaningful activities for you and your entire family this Thanksgiving season!

Printable Activities for Attitudes of Gratitude

Thanksgiving is the kick-off to a wonderful holiday season, but it can be so easy for our families to get wrapped up in the chaos and commercialism of the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Help keep your kids grounded and form a little perspective this Thanksgiving (and Christmas) season with a few fun and easy printable activities you can do right at your Thanksgiving table.

I Am Thankful! – Print this form for an acrostic poem (you can do one for the family, work in groups, or print one for each person). It just takes a few minutes to complete, and it helps bring everyone together to share in some gratitude.

Blessings in a Box – Make these table decorations that also serve as reminders to have attitudes of gratitude and thankfulness. The instructions are on the printable sheets, and you can print as many tags as you need.

Our Thanksgiving Feast – This is a holiday twist on traditional mad libs that gets your kids using their grammar skills (shh – don’t tell them while they’re on school break). Play it the traditional way, having one person as the “caller” who asks the others around your Thanksgiving table for the various parts of speech to fill in the blanks (without revealing the story). When the caller has written in all of the blanks, he or she reads the story aloud. Even though it brings a bit of silliness to the table, it can remind your kids to think about why they are thankful.

Extending the Gratitude

Before we know it the pies will be eaten and the day of thanks will come to a close. If you are heading out for Black Friday shopping and jumping right into the next phase of this season, keep a sense of gratitude with you. (I’m as eager as the next person for a great bargain, but it is also my time to hang out with my daughter and make great memories.)

• Make the first item you buy for someone in need.
• Take your kids to the craft stores to buy supplies to make homemade gifts.
• Make the last stop of the day to do a good deed for someone else – grab the kids and take dinner to an elderly neighbor, encourage the kids to do a chore for a family member or friend (walk the dog, help clean the garage, etc.).

Keep the spirit of thankfulness in your hearts – and keep looking for ways to bring it more to life each day with your kids. I am thankful for the family and friends who surround me, the faith that guides me, and the opportunity to look forward to each day doing things I love to do.

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Infant Massage Therapy Promotes Health and Communication

The gentle touch of parent’s hand can work miracles. Infant massage is not some new-age hokey business that requires you to become a licensed vegan or take up holistic medicine entirely. Call it cuddles, snuggling, or even loving if it makes you feel better, but just don’t let the term infant massage therapy scare you away from this very practical and beneficial practice.

What is Infant Massage?

Infant massage therapy has been practiced in countries around the world for centuries, in many cultures as a natural form of parenting that is second nature, much like how we might consider burping an infant to be a “given” practice. However, it wasn’t until the 1970’s that it became a discussed and purposefully taught behavior in the United States, although many moms were instinctively doing it for decades. Vimala Schneider McClure, author of Infant Massage, a Handbook for Loving Parents, was a pioneer in bringing infant massage to the minds of parents and encouraging its use as an effective parenting tool. Her book is a great guide to start practicing infant massage – but you don’t have to buy a book in order to implement some of the practices and see the rewards.

What Does Infant Massage Do?

Each of my children came into this world with their own set of needs and preferences – and each reacted to infant massage differently. There is no one perfect method or use for all babies, but if you try different approaches you are bound to find something that works for your little one.

Calms fussy babies – Without fail you could set a clock to my son’s fussiness to arrive at 11:30 p.m. each night. He suffered from a combination of being tired, an upset stomach, and his own circadian rythms that dictates his moods. I would put on Elvis (his favorite music for some reason), spread out a blanket on the floor, and begin to gently rub his legs. I would stretch his legs and work with them to gently bend his legs (never doing it when he resisted). This rhythmic motion and the calming touch of my hands (along with good old Elvis), would quiet my son almost instantly. For your baby it might mean:

• Gently caressing your baby’s back or head
• Rubbing your baby’s belly in a circular motion
• Using touch points to help calm you baby

Check out this video that shows just some of the basics when it comes to infant massage therapy. They recommend using an oil, but my kids didn’t even need that as much as they just needed the touch. If you do decide to use some type of oil or lotion, talk with your baby’s health care provider to make sure that your choice is appropriate for your baby’s skin.

Improves immune function and helps heal – Another one of my sons suffered from RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus) and the lingering effects, causing several severe bouts of pneumonia. While his infections were treated with medications, his discomfort was often alleviated with infant massage. I worked with nurses to develop a way to hold him in my arms and use massage while keeping him upright to improve his breathing.

Infant massage offers many other benefits for both parents and babies.

• It helps to build a bond between you and your child.
• It can relax your fussy baby.
• It can improve weight gain – with one study showing that 15 minutes of massage a day helped babies gain needed weight 47% faster than without infant massage.
• Babies who are provided with infant massage have lower levels of stress hormones and reduced anxiety.
• Infant massage teaches parents about the nonverbal cues that their babies give, which are vitally important since infants don’t have the ability to put into words how they are feeling.

If you decide to try infant massage, check out some books from your library and talk with your baby’s healthcare provider. Babies are quite flexible, but they are also very vulnerable to certain movements. You might also want to consider parenting methods such as kangaroo mother care (one more way to use close contact to calm and soothe your baby). Infant massage therapy can become a part of your daily routine with your infant that builds your bond, improves communication and overall health, and is another tool for connected parenting.

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5 Free Reading Printables

Tags: goals, kids and reading, printables, reading, reading charts, reading worksheets

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To Encourage Reluctant Readers

Not every child is an automatic reader – those kids who seem to pick up reading as easily as blinking and smiling, and who always seem to have books tucked under their arms (if not held in front of their faces). If you have a reluctant reader, or your child likes to read but needs extra help understanding the stories behind the words, try these free printable worksheets and goal charts that can take the chore and bore out of reading.

1. Bookmark Minutes – Print these bookmarks and have your child record the minutes he spends reading on each line, either for each day or for each time he sits down to read the book. Even reluctant readers or kids who struggle with reading can feel successful when they can count minutes, instead of pages, that they spent reading.
2. Chapter Chart – Sometimes reading chapter books can be daunting tasks for kids who are either struggling to read or for those who just haven’t been caught up in the excitement of books yet. Sometimes kids simply feel too much pressure to enjoy reading that they think they have to enjoy everything they read. This chart encourages kids to think about each chapter, and gives them permission not to like it.
   
3. Basic Reading Chart – This chart encourages kids to record the titles of the books they read, and each book helps them get to their goal of reading 5 books. You can work with your kids to determine how long it might take to read those 5 books, and whether or not there will be a small token reward at the end of each book. This could even be a sticker to put on the step, a new bookmark, or you could just let the reading be the reward.
4. Chain of Events – When kids start to read books that involve bigger plots, it can be helpful to have them think about all of the details that make up the story. When they can recognize details in the stories they read, they will also improve their writing abilities. Details work together, just like a chain of events – and reading can unlock so many doors!
5. Following Clues – One of the skills that older readers can develop is how to follow clues in a story. Sometimes as kids read they just aren’t sure which clues might be needed to solve the mystery or problem. Have them record the clues they think they find along the way, but also make sure they go back and look at the clues they recorded after they read the story to see if they would make a good reading detective!

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Controversy Over Modern Doll

Just in time for the holidays, a stir has been created in the toy world. The Breast Milk Baby, created by Berjuan Toys out of Spain, is being criticized for sexualizing young girls and being too provocative to be put on American toy-store shelves. While manufacturers and consumers seem more at ease in European markets, it is ironically Americans who don’t want this doll to make their kids’ Christmas wish lists. Apparently Americans are too concerned with provocative images and the sexualizing of young children.

The Breast Milk Baby comes complete with a soft crying sound, the ability to burp (which makes it fascinating for some kids I know…), and it makes a sucking sound, much like a baby would make while nursing. The catch that seems to be bothering some parents is that the sucking sound is triggered by flower decals on a halter top that is worn by the child playing with the doll. When the baby doll’s lips come in contact with the shirt decals (which are placed over where the nipples would be on a mother), a sensor is triggered and nursing sounds can be heard.

Critics say that this type of toy sexualizes children and should not be available – and that people in public don’t want to see this type of behavior. This thinking seems aligned with the same people who try to stop mothers from breastfeeding in public (even when fully covered). Breastfeeding has been around since – well – the time of people, and is a natural way to feed children (in fact, is the #1 recommended way to feed children around the world). Even though the decals are little flakey for my personal preferences, perhaps it is time to give our kids dolls that at least mimic positive, loving, actions that aren’t sexual in nature.

Would you rather give your child one of the following toys?

5 Toys that Are Worse for Children

Struts – The toy horse that loves to wear…heels…and strut her stuff. These horse figures are intended for young girls and claim to combine a girl’s love of horses with her love of fashion, and are packaged as “fashion flirty fun”. The horses come with wigs and hot pants – every equestrian’s dream attire for that prized pony.

Spring Break Doll – Mattel has done it again and brought us the Monster High Skill Shores Friday the 13^th Frankie Stein Spring Break Doll. Yes – that is the real name. And yes, this doll is intended for kids, sold at places like Toys R Us, and she is wearing a mini swimsuit that has her all ready for spring break. She is advertised as being “ready for some roaring good times…and has a cool treat to help her spring into break!” Since when do tweens and younger go on spring break trips for roaring good times, complete with a cool drink?

Pee Poo – Yep – just what it sounds like. Except these are soft and cuddly versions of pee poo. OK – that doesn’t even make them exceptions, just creepy. Even after potty training many children, I just can’t see the place for these creatures – time to flush those away.

WWE in Tight Pants – The first time I saw this guy, Cody Rhodes, I thought I had somehow inadvertently stumbled into the toy section for adults. The WWE “wrestling” star comes with what appear to be tight spandex Speedos and a bag to cover his head. Enough said.

Cavity Creations – OK – maybe it is wrong to pick on dentists, but this Play-Doh dentist set is creepy. The idea behind the toy might promote oral health, but the name spells shivers – Dr. Drill and Fill. What child is comforted about going to the dentist with a name like that?

The toys we choose to fill our kids’ toyboxes with and trip over during the night as we stumble to see who was coughing or calling for a glass of water might also fill our nightmares. But a doll that breastfeeds shouldn’t. I would much rather have kids learning and pretending about caring for babies than have them develop a storyline for a vacation that Mr. Rhodes, WWE star takes with the Spring Break doll.

There has long been a debate over whether or not toy guns make children violent, and researchers tend to agree that violence makes kids violent, but toys allow them to express their ideas, concerns, and questions. Let’s help our kids find toys that stretch their imaginations, but that don’t need to involve flirty animals or wrestlers in hot pants. Or maybe those are better than these “learning toys” for new parents – these breastfeeding puppets might just win the booby prize for bad gimmicks.

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Book Banning and the Call for a Rating System

Death, witchcraft, gore, and sex. These are just some of themes that you can see on the covers – and within the pages – of books in the children’s wing at your local library. And these are just a few of the reasons why some adults want books either banned from the children’s wings of libraries, or to have a rating system on books (much like the movie rating system).

Should Books Be Rated for Kids?

The author of the Vampyre Labyrinth series, GP Taylor, is now changing his tune and pushing for age certifications on children’s literature. He admits that some of the books he has written are too frightening, and says that, “I have changed my mind: I think children’s literature has gone too far.”

Part of this appears to be stemming from a recent analysis of award-winning children’s literature. This analysis shows that modern children’s literature is more likely to feature characters with troubled or absent parents, or children who have been abandoned. However, if you ask one of my sons, Disney movies have been doing this since its inception. Long ago at the tender age of 6 this sweet son of mine swore off Disney movies – detesting them because the mom always dies. From Bambi to Cinderella to Finding Nemo – this theme of motherless children forced to endure life on their own has been a mainstay of classic children’s movies. My son banned Disney movies for himself – but we hardly ban them from the house as he discerned for himself what he felt good about watching or not (and now he loves scary movies – but still not Disney).

Opponents to book rating systems say that all it would do is create an almost innate desire in kids to read the book on the top shelf. It must be really good if it stays on the top shelf. In our library right now we have the children’s wing separated by signs – Early Readers, Young Adult Fiction, etc. – and that seems to work well enough for most families. Beyond creating that mystique that a rating system would do, rating books based on content would be such a subjective act. Who would be assigned or corralled to determine what books, at what ages, my kids should read? The only answer I am comfortable with is: my family.

Banning Books – Still a Modern Practice

While you don’t really hear of book burning in the news, you probably also aren’t hearing of book banning – but it is still happening. In fact, book banning is still trending enough so that there is an entire coalition, backed by the Library of Congress, dedicated ending the practice. You can even check out the map of book banning across the United States. Banned Books Week, recently held September 30^th thru October 6^th, aims to protect literature (and readers) from the judgments of a select few.

Targeting The Hunger Games – and Other Modern Book Banning

The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins, is just one recent title that some people have attempted to ban in libraries, schools, and bookstores. I was even asked recently by a parent if I would dare to let my kids read the series, to which I gave a smile and then proceeded to talk about how my kids not only read the books, but attended a book club devoted to the story. I reminded this nervous mother, who had been hearing from other parents how this book might be too violent for kids, that books aren’t inherently bad – it is how we interpret and use them that matters.

Parents use censorship all of the time – we monitor what programs our kids watch on television, we monitor the conversations in which they participate, and we monitor their activities. Book banning and rating, however, mean that someone else gets to choose what is best for your child.

A devout Christian will likely get much more out of The Chronicles of Narnia than will an atheist, because there is Biblical context for the Christian that he applies to the book, while the atheist views it merely as a form of literature. It is the context of life that we provide for our kids that they will use when discerning how a story does or does not relate to them.

Monitoring Book Choices for Kids

If you are concerned about a book selection your child is eager to read, don’t just put the book on the top shelf, out of reach, and walk away (or worse yet – try to ban it so others don’t have access to it).

• Read the books with your kids, either aloud together or each grab your own copy.
• Don’t banish scary stories – research shows that kids benefit from the imaginitive and emotional process when they are exposed to scary stories.
• Talk about the themes, the plots, the characters, and the parallels (if any) to real life.
• Talk about the differences between fiction and non-fiction.
• Find a book club for your kids so they can discuss these ideas among peers.
• Find other books with similar themes that you think are more appropriate and start there, willing to continue to the next level if your child still seems interested.

Famously Banned Books

You can put books like The Hunger Games in the same category of books such as

• To Kill a Mockingbird
• Where the Wild Things Are
• The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
• The Call of the Wild
• For Whom the Bell Tolls
• Invisible Man
• The Red Badge of Courage
• And so many more influential pieces of literature

All of these titles were criticized and in some places, banned. Yet, on a historical plane, all of the above titles have contributed to literature as an art and as contributions to humanity. Before you jump on the book banning bandwagon, ask yourself this question.

What is it about my child that worries me in regards to this book?

Maybe it is that your child is not yet mature enough for the plot, not yet sensitive enough for the emotions, or not yet morally grounded enough for the ideas presented. Then consider if the book is really the issue. If a book is going to thwart my child’s development, set his moral compass askew, or threaten what we know and believe about respect, integrity, and relationships, then the book is the least of my concerns.

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Digital Gentlemen

Tags: boys, digital gentlemen, gentlemen, raising boys, raising gentlemen, raising teens, technology and boys, teens and technology

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Raising Boys of Respect in a Time of Technology

The familiar buzz of a cell phone, alerting one of my kids that they have a new text message, is a familiar sound in our busy home. I’m used to it and I know to expect it every day – almost any hour of the day. However, it is still unchartered territory for many parents (myself included) when it comes to lessons on how to teach my boys to be gentlemen in a digital world. There are no lessons I can recall from my own childhood experience, no words of wisdom my parents gave me about cell phones, emails, and webcams. The most extravagant our home got was having a separate children’s line installed so my parents could finally have free reign on their phone (yes – before the options of call-waiting), and computers were fancy typewriters incapable of instantly sending pictures and videos.

Raising Gentlemen

Technology has changed the game when it comes to raising our boys to be gentlemen. As the mom of three boys (four this year with our exchange student), I desperately want to guide these gents to become men of integrity, compassion, and strength, all the while growing into gentlemen. Like so many other parents, however, I am learning that these boys are in the fight of their lives to become true gentlemen. Technology challenges their decisions, their moral compasses, and their hormones. I’ve decided that I can’t throw away the computer, ditch the cell phones, or hide my kids in the basement, which leaves me with only one option: I need to find ways to raise digital gentlemen.

Cell phone etiquette – Most kids don’t actually use their cell phones for talking – they are texting all of the time. There are over 1 billion text messages sent each day, which means we should not be surprised to know that more than 40% of teenagers can text while blindfolded. It is what these kids include in their messages that we need to target.

• Keep the conversation going about respectful texting – just like the birds and bees conversation, this shouldn’t be just a one-time deal.
• Give concrete examples about what might be disrespectful to send in a text message to a young woman. I always tell my boys to remember that at any given time the text message they send to a girl could be read by her father, so always imagine her father reading anything you have to say. It’s a wonder they still text at all with that intimidating image.
• Get to know the acronyms that kids are using in their texting – and make sure they know what they are sending and receiving. I’ve used NetLingo before and it seems fairly accurate (and easy to use).

Pictures and video on demand – Just because your kids can take a picture of themselves and post it for the world to see doesn’t mean they should. Teaching discernment to boys about the differences between appropriate and inappropriate images and videos is a challenge, but even more challenging can be helping them to make wise decisions with the images and videos that are sent to them.

• Redefine privacy for your boys. Make sure they understand that just because they might receive a message doesn’t mean they should send that message on to others or keep it stored on their computer or phone. Not only are there risks of becoming unwittingly involved with child pornography issues (even when a girls sends a flirty picture of herself), but boys are also at risk of contributing to the invasion of privacy of someone else.
• A frightening statistic shows that almost 90% of teens’ flirtatious, racy, and sexually charged pictures (which – as much as we don’t want to admit it, they do take), are found and copied by parasite porn companies and reposted on pornography websites. Make sure your boys understand the risks involved and the dangers (legally, emotionally, etc.) for being any part of this scary trend.

Digital footprints – What kind of digital reputation does your son have? Help him make sure he has an online image that reflects him as a gentleman.

• Know what pictures your son has online, and who is tagging him in their images. Teach him to discern which images to post, and which ones to delete, but most importantly, which ones to never take.
• Make sure your son understands how his comments online can either show him as a respectful young man, or as one who discriminates, demeans, or disrespects women. It can be a challenge for young men to get over the “cool factor” that comes with making attention-grabbing comments, but keep your conversations going with them.

It can be hard enough to wrangle these grass-stained and forever wrestling boys and gather politely at the dinner table. When we add technology into the mix of raising gentlemen, suddenly parenting feels like a steep climb up a mountain, with no protection from the elements or trail guide or GPS. But don’t give up. Keep climbing – our sons need us to be the trail guides.

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Our home is brimming with colorful fall decorations, children dragging in the last of the crunchy fall leaves on their shoes, and you can see the sparkle of excitement for Thanksgiving in their eyes. As the holiday draws closer, I keep wanting to reach out and slow down the clock so that we can enjoy every last bit of the fall season, just as meticulously as my children scrape the bowl for every last bit of leftover frosting. If you want to make the most of the Thanksgiving season with your family, try some of the activities below, use the printable journal paper to spark creativity, and try the easy Thanksgiving Tic-Tac-Toe game that is simple enough for the littlest pilgrims in your house.

Bake Some Thanksgiving Treats Together

• Use the same recipe you use for Christmas cutout cookies, but use turkey shapes or even a cookie cutter in the shape of the letter “T”.
• Put a colorful twist on popcorn with this recipe and teach the following poem to your kids.

The Turkey Shot Out of the Oven

By Jack Prelutsky

The turkey shot out of the oven
and rocketed into the air,
it knocked every plate off the table
and partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner
and burst with deafening boom,
then splattered all over the kitchen,
completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows,
it totally coated the floor,
there was turkey attached to the ceiling,
where there’d never been turkey before.

It blanketed every appliance,
it smeared every saucer and bowl,
there wasn’t a way I could stop it,
that turkey was out of control.

I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure,
and thought with chagrin as I mopped,
that I’d never again stuff a turkey
with popcorn that hadn’t been popped.

Thanksgiving Printables

Print these Thanksgiving Tic-Tac-Toe cards to use as a pre-dinner game with the younger guests at your Thanksgiving table. Cut apart the words listed at the bottom, fold them, place them in a bag or bowl, and randomly draw out one at a time and call it out like you would a BINGO letter. Players then cover up the picture with a scrap piece of paper, button, or other small object. When you have three in a row, call out Happy Thanksgiving!

• Card 1
• Card 2
• Card 3
• Card 4
• Card 5

Keep little hands busy while you cook by having them make personalized placemats to use during the Thanksgiving meal.

• template 1
• template 2
• template 3

If you’re searching for a Thanksgiving writing lesson idea, try one of these writing prompts for your elementary aged kids. Give them a different page each day and have them add each page to a folder to create a Thanksgiving journal.

• Prompt 1
• Prompt 2
• Prompt 3
• Prompt 4
• Prompt 5

Easy Activities for the Family

• Make a DVD of thankfulness. Encourage your tweens or teens to use the video camera the week before Thanksgiving and go around asking people to either talk about what they are thankful for this Thanksgiving, or go with the trend of “three words” to express their thanks. Put it together as a movie complete with music and play it for entertainment on Thanksgiving.
• Play Thankful Charades – Have everyone in the family take turns acting out something for which they are thankful.

Whatever you do this Thanksgiving season, I hope that you have time for a few fun activities, and lots of time to remember why you are thankful (and some of your favorite foods, too).

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Parenting teens is tough – but is it a time filled that should be filled with dread, animosity, and trepidation? If you read and believe what is written in “You Don’t Know Anything…! – A Manual for Parenting Your Teenagers” then parenting teenagers is going to be one of the worst times in your life. What is more – your teenagers are going to be mere shadows of kind or respectful human beings. In fact, author Nadir Baksh, Psy. D. and Laurie Murphy, Ph.D. write in their introduction:

There is no need for us to sugarcoat what you have already discovered about your teenagers; they are nothing if not selfish, self-centered, manipulative and ruthless.

I have to admit, this introduction got my attention. I was in some way drawn to this harshness, but I soon realized that I was drawn to it because I was waiting for the punch-line. I waited for the authors to say – hey, teenagers are challenging, but let’s figure out a way to parent them with integrity. Instead I found page after page of criticisms of teenagers. They are painted as entirely different species. While they sometimes do seem like they are living in a different dimension, the type of parenting advice presented in this book frightens me.

What the Book Got Right

Before I trod all over the ideas presented within these pages, there are a few points made by the authors which bear repeating.

• Science has shown that teenage brains are structurally different and therefore not capable of making the same levels of decisions as mature adults. These structures don’t change until people are in their early twenties – around age 23 years.
• Parents need to establish firm boundaries and stick to consequences that they establish for their children.
• Teenagers make mistakes.
• Behavioral charts can work when they are used well with appropriate rewards or consequences.
• Parents need to spend true, real, quality time with their teenagers.
• Parents need to put forth the extra energy to support their teens’ social development – getting them where they need and want to be even though you would really rather sit in your PJs and watch a movie.

Why the Book Scares Me

The more I read into the book, the more I felt the strange sense of pity for the authors. I honestly felt like they harbored such anger and disrespect for teenagers that they must have missed out on what can be wonderful and nurturing relationships for both parents and teenagers. I’ve got three teenagers in my home, one preparing to graduate high school this year, and while I completely agree that these years can be even more difficult for parents than the years spent diapering and toilet training, I just can’t wrap my head around the negativity these authors put on the job of parenting. We should be raising human beings, not fighting against them.

Some ideas presented in this book include:

Advising parents to give veiled threats to their teens, including encouraging them to say, “You do not want to know what will happen if you do not do as I say right now.”

Veiled threats don’t teach teens how to communicate and don’t clearly communicate the consequences that should already be established in your family. Threatening your teenagers only places them on the defensive and places you as adversaries.

Advising parents to prohibit their teenagers from experiencing the responsibility of watching younger siblings or babysitting for others. “Your teenager cannot consistently make good decisions and, moreover, rarely thinks about the consequences of any decision they have made.” The authors say that most teenage babysitters only rifle through drawers, raid refrigerators, and gab on the phone – paying little attention to their charges.

Teenagers are not perfect, but neither are adults. Yes, teens can be less attentive than adults, but teens are also full of potential and energy. I know plenty of teens who care for younger children with more enthusiasm than many adults, and who are wonderful role models for youth.

Accepting the fact that parents don’t like their teenagers. In fact, the authors write, “…here you are, staring into the face of someone who pretends to be your child, and whom you do not like. They may call you Mom and Dad convincingly, yet they cannot possibly be yours…”

What a sad experience to parent teens and not like them. My teens are some of my most favorite people in the world. They are enthusiastic, creative, energized, passionate, and engaged. Yes – some days they make me question my ability to remain sane, but they never make me regret my privilege to parent them.

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Printable Science Lessons

Tags: education, free printables, hypothesis, observation, printable, printables, science, science lesson

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Teaching the Basic Steps of Scientific Discovery

Steps to Good Science (printable PDF lesson plan)

Science is all around us, and our children. Whether you are planning for the science fair and need some guidance, you are an elementary teacher, or you are a homeschooling mom like me, helping kids understand the scientific process is an important job. For younger learners the pages of this printable science lesson will help them remember terms and steps, and help them develop strong scientific ideas. This guide can be used to teach the basics of:

• observations
• questions
• hypothesis
• testing and experiments
• drawing conclusions

The pages include a guide for kids to ask questions about their topic, sample Venn diagrams they can print and use, and a sample hypothesis they can use to create their own brilliant idea.

If you need other easy science activities you can do with your kids, try some of these resources for kids, parents, and teachers.

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