Being a mom is hard work. Mother’s Day is traditionally a time to thank your own mother for everything she has done for you and all of the love she has shared. I’m fortunate enough to have that kind of mom – the one who supported me and loved me as a child and is now one of my best friends and mentors. She loves my kids unwaveringly, treats my husband like a son, and is my co-pilot for bargain shopping and gardening. On Mother’s Day I hope she will know how much I treasure my relationship with her.
But I don’t want to just thank her on Mather’s Day. It is time for me to redefine Mother’s Day and thank the women in my life who touch my heart – the back-up moms – they help us become stronger women and better mothers, and who offer motherly love and support to our children.
On mother’s day thank those women who give your children the guidance and encouragement they need. They are the friends, aunts, grandparents, teachers, in-laws, and parents of your kid’s friends. They help you on your own parenting journey, either picking you up when you’ve stumbled or cheering for you when you needed it. They love you – they love your kids.
Mother’s Day for the Back-Up Moms
Thank Your Friends
Your friends who are mothers share their stories, fears, frustrations, and dreams about raising their own kids. When they do this you learn a little more about being a mother yourself – they are your comrades in parenting. These are the moms who understand the chaos, don’t judge you for having crazy days, and will call you on their next crazy day. Thank that special mom-friend with a new coffee mug for those shared early morning runs with the kids to baseball practice. Maybe even better yet, take her kids to those early morning practices for a week so that she can sit at home where it is quiet and drink her coffee with her raggedy bunny slippers dangling from her feet.
Thank Your Mother-in-Law
Maybe you’re lucky enough to have an amazing relationship with your mother-in-law. If you are, thank her by writing her a letter that tells her about all of the wonderful things you love about her son. It is that unbending bond that the two of you share.
Thank Other Parents
Thank the mom of your child’s best friend (Thanks, Sandi!) for surviving sleepovers, carpools, and conspiracies between the two kids with grace and a sense of humor. It is so valuable to know that my child has not only a great friendship, but the support of a “second mom” as a bonus (and now I have a dear friend and comrade, too!). If having one daughter is amazing, getting to a part of her BFF’s life is pretty wonderful, too.
Thank Aunties
Aunts – they are some of my absolute favorite people in the world. They get to love our kids on another level, with unabashed pride, strength, and an extra dose of patience. Make a scrapbook for the special aunties in your life with favorite family photos and thank them for their roles in your life – either as mom-aunts to you or to your children.
Thank Grandparents
Sometimes my 92-year-old grandmother smiles and says she’s not sure why God still keeps her around, but I always tell her it is so that my children can have a Great Grandma who always brings out The Candy Jar for them and tells them every single time she sees them how much they’ve grown and how wonderful they are. She loves them. If your kids have grandmas or great-grandmas in their lives, show them how much they mean on Mother’s Day by having the kids help make a “Generation Stepping Stone” that includes your own handprints mixed with your children’s handprints (see directions for stepping stones here).
Thank Mentors
If your children have teachers or coaches who lead them with character and dignity while helping them to become better students, athletes, pianists, artists, and stronger individuals, thank them on Mother’s Day. Create a “Top Ten” list of things your child has learned from this person and stick it in a small gift basket with 10 of something – 10 pieces of candy, 10 flowers, or attach it to a $10 gift card to her favorite coffee shop.
Moms are wonderful, valuable, and integral ingredients for raising healthy, happy children. But so are the back-up moms. These are the women who help us become better mothers and love our children. They are the ones we know we could rely on to step in and help our children grow if Heaven forbid anything should happen to us. Redefine Mother’s Day this year by celebrating the back-up moms – they’ve got your back.
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